Drunk Savignon Blank Adled Baboons terrorise Snooty South African Suburbs

Groot Constantia, in the heart of Cape Town's wine country, can deal with inebriated holidaymakers – but it is invading baboons which have developed a taste for its grapes that the wine makers are struggling with.

Each day, dozens of Cape Baboons gather to strip the ancient vines – the sauvignon blanc grapes are a particular favourite – before heading into the mountains to sleep. A few, who sample fallen fruit that has fermented in the sun, pass out and don't make it home.

 

"They are not just eating our grapes, they are raiding our kitchens and ripping the thatch off the roofs. They are becoming increasingly bold and destructive," said Jean Naude, general manager at the vineyard, which is celebrating its 325th birthday this year. Guards banging sticks and waving plastic snakes have been deployed with only limited success, and not even a blast of a vuvuzela, the plastic horn made famous at the World Cup, seems to frighten them. 

How come they didn't hook up with English soccer fans during the World Cup?

My Good Man Jacob meets the Windsors

It was all polite smiles and meticulous protocol as Jacob Zuma met the Queen yesterday afternoon. But just hours before he left for his state visit to Britain, South Africa’s flamboyant President revealed what he really thought of his hosts.
In an astonishing interview given shortly before he boarded his flight to London, Mr Zuma launched a scathing attack on the British, accusing them of being cultural imperialists with colonial attitudes who still viewed Africans as “barbaric”.
“When the British came to our country they said everything we did was barbaric, was wrong, inferior in whatever way,” he told The Independent’s sister group of newspapers in South Africa. “Bear in mind that I’m a freedom fighter and I fought to free myself, and also for my culture to be respected. And I don’t know why they are continuing thinking that their culture is more superior than others, those who might have said so.”
The catalyst for Mr Zuma’s remarkable outburst was criticism from a number of British columnists who questioned the President’s polygamy, a common and accepted practice among South Africa’s Zulus…
However, at a state banquet last night, Mr Zuma praised the help Britain had given South Africa in its transition to a new democratic government. “We cannot forget the extraordinary role they [the British people] played at the forefront of a global movement for a free South Africa, as the global anti-apartheid movement has its roots in this country.”
His comments in the interview threatened to overshadow what was supposed to be a three-day visit to strengthen ties between Britain and South Africa. Gordon Brown stood alongside the Queen to greet Mr Zuma and the two leaders will hold talks today…
For his opening meeting with the Queen and Prince Philip on Horse Guards Parade, Mr Zuma wore a long coat and black suit to protect him from the March chill. In South Africa, the 67-year-old often greets dignitaries wearing the traditional Zulu dress of leopard skin loincloth and shield. Mr Zuma’s Zulu heritage may also have provided the impetus behind the Queen’s gift to him of a mounted bronze stag and a book entitled Hunting And Stalking Deer. A representative from Mr Zuma’s office, however, admitted he had no knowledge of the President being interested in hunting.
Mr Zuma’s gift to the Queen was a sculpted chess set depicting traditional Zulu warriors – although he soon discovered that a similar present had been given to the Duke of Edinburgh by his predecessor Nelson Mandela years earlier. Noticing the hand-painted ceramic set on display in the Palace Picture Gallery, a slightly crestfallen Mr Zuma remarked: “Oh, that’s another set.”

- The Independent
Okay, so I couldn’t resist it either…

via skepticlawyer.com.au

Posted via web from poobumwee's posterous

Emperor Ponting has no clothes (well not many)

Poor Rickie and the Boys have been found out by a disciplined and talented South African Cricket Team. Out thought and outplayed over most of two tests, especially when it mattered. 

The tables truely have been turned. The cricket kings of swagger and jabber don't look so good with some toothless bowling and some arrogant batting. This get out of jail stuff that we saw from the South Africans is what the Australians have been doing to all and sundry for almost 20 years. Not this time.

The days of sticking your collective heads in the sand and living with the memories are over. The fact that some of the all time greatest Australian test cricketers: Warne, McGrath, Hayden, Gilchrist, Ponting were part of the team this time last year, with only Ponting left, points to the gap. 

The fact that Australia remain ranked number one in the Test Rankings is testament to their long term success more than their current form. Clearly the rankings are not a true reflection of who is top dog in world cricket. 

Even members of the dynasty that was Aussie Cricket have a hard time facing up to the new reality.

Like the senior men on the field, the relatively recent retirees with the microphones expected the superheroes to arrive. All the Australian capes have disappeared along with Telstra phoneboxes.

And talking of attempts at world domination and train wrecks, I doubt we will be seeing new Telstra phoneboxes any time soon. "Operator Operator... have you seen any good cricketers lately?... Your call cannot be connected...... Please try again in five years when all the lawsuits have been settled ."

Next up for the Aussies after this series is a trip around South Africa before their chance to take it to the Poms as they defend The Ashes next northern summer. 

Talking of happy South Africans, no doubt Kevin and the boys will be getting a little cocky as they start their preparations for the big match in Cardiff. 

I wonder what the odds on the Ashes are? You can check here. Australia are slight favourites, although you can get similar odds for both teams.

Despite all this, in all seriousness, I would still expect the Aussies to be very competitive, especially given the English propensity to fail when things look good. 

South African Boy Makes Good

Ego Pietersen has been crowned King by the England and Wales Cricket Board.

Lke a city whizkid or a great captain of industry, Pietersen is ambitious for ambition's sake, which does not sit easily with those who misconstrue his motives. Englishmen in particular, with their ingrained love of the underdog, find it hard to accept those who aren't content merely to bumble along in life and settle for second-best. And yet, the basic premise of sport is the quest to be the best, a challenge that Pietersen has embraced as if he were Roger Federer or Tiger Woods. He has no interest in being anything less than the greatest player who has ever lived, but unlike so many wannabes who mouth off and then vanish, he has consistently shown the talent, chutzpah and audacity to back up his promises with deeds.

Doesn't sound too English and it certainly seems very radical for such a stuffy organisation like the ECB. They are only slightly more progressive than the International Cricket Board and there must have been some tortuous discussions as the prince was coronated.

I wonder if that will be enough to get Shane Warne to come out of retirement for the Ashes next year?

Eddie the Eagle debuts for England

Dave Darren Pattinson (who?) debuted for England today at Headingley against the South Africans and is at the batting crease as I write. He must be good, since he moved Monty, who makes Glenn McGrath look like a top order batsman up the batting order. Batted behind Monty is hardly a ringing endorsement, but then he is there to bowl.

He was optimistically announced by the Cricinfo Commentary team. They obviously have high hopes for him as England offer up a sorry excuse for a cricket team yet again.

It's a procession, and now, into the fray comes the debutant Grimsby-born roof-tiling medium-pacer from Melbourne. The Chris Powell of England cricket selection? It's not tea after all, incidentally.

Who are those guys who are playing a test at Cardiff next year? Perhaps they are looking for his Aussie sledging experience to unhinge Rickie and the boys when they show up this time next year.

And why do I still support them?

Update: Two slogs and he is out. Eight more than the Captain and Monty combined. England all out for 203. Time to go to work Mr Pattinson (and Mr Flintoff).