Satara the Randy Rampaging Rhino's Great Adventure

And so would you if your partner had been paired up with a younger rival.

Monarto Zoo senior curator Peter Clark said he believed the escape occurred because a younger male rhino had been paired with the female, Yhura. He said Satara had "got wind of" this. "I think he got a bit jealous," he said.

Two tonne Rhinos, just like humans. Apparently he is back in his mud pond cooling off this morning.

Monarto is part of Adelaide Zoo, located in the Adelaide Hills and is part of the worldwide rhino breeding programme. Rhino horns are considered aphrodisiacs. Perhaps Satara bit off more than he could chew.

Things that you can do with Potatoes

Image by incurable_hippie via FlickrMake chips and cushion falls.

Speaking of the vicar, A & E nurse Trudi Watson, of Sheffield's Northern General Hospital, said: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

"But it's not for me to question his story. He had to undergo surgery to have it removed."

Moral of this story. Don't hang curtains in the nude and don't leave potatoes out on the table.

My relatives used to be potato merchants. Perhaps there is a new market for the humble spud.

Traffic Sign Sex

Click on the image to get a clearer image.

Sex and the City - Adelaide and Tokyo Version

Sex sells they say and with a great deal of coverage of this film, I felt it important to bring this important news.

Adelaide has made it into the big time with the first ever Sexpo being held here. While I didn't attend, I did complain to the advertising regulator that it was being promoted early in the evening on commercial television. It really did generate a lot of free publicity with all the news programmes covering it. Major step forward for Adelaide with the coming out of the Sex Industry. Adelaide has more than its fair share of sex shops and adult entertainment venues and perhaps reflects some of the calvinist thought around the place.

Being a little prudish by nature I was interested to see that the first ever Sexpo had also recently been held in Tokyo. Based on my experience in Japan I got the feeling that this sort of stuff would be more out in the open, but it seems that it is not the done thing to wander around Sex Exhibitions in Japan.

Japan recently had its first-ever adult expo at the Makuhari Messe convention center near Tokyo. In a press release the organizers of the "Adult Treasure Expo" vowed to "draw the adult industry out of the darkness and secrecy which has traditionally surrounded it, to the place of honor and value which it deserves.

Honor and Value indeed. Interesting stuff all the same if you are into exploring ways to make it better.


And Product of the Day goes to the G Pod.

The gPod dildo has three independent motors which vibrate in time to any audio input, including music from an iPod or the sound of the human voice. The name is as ingenious as the design: a triple pun on iPod, G-spot and the Japanese for masturbation, jii.

Officer I have a Wombat up my bum!

This reminds me of all the gay jokes about gerbils as sex aids, but a little more out there.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that on the afternoon of February 11 Cradock called the police communications centre, threatening to "smash the filth" if they arrived at his home that night.

When asked if he had an emergency, he replied "yes", Mr Stringer said.

On a second subsequent call to the communications centre, Cradock told police he was being raped by a wombat at his Motueka address, and sought their immediate help.

He called police again soon after, and gave his full name, saying he wanted to withdraw the complaint.

"I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's pulled out," Cradock told the operator at the communications centre, who had no idea what he was talking about, Mr Stringer said.

"Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know, I didn't hurt my bum at all," Cradock then told the operator.

I mean wombats are pretty big. Imagine the psychological trauma for Australians if they woke up and spoke like New Zealanders. The humiliation. You can only imagine. Yes I know it is too much to comprehend.

From One of those Respectable Newspapers (so it must be true).