Sunday, May 31, 2009

Big Ben celebrates its 150th birthday - Telegraph

Some great photographs and trivia to celebrate Big Ben's 150 years of duty. I used to love to cycle past it when I lived in London in the late 70s. I particularly liked the use of old pennies to advance and slow down the clock.

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Saturday, May 30, 2009

Photo Hunt: Book(s)

If you are having a party you can book these two to entertain. Guaranteed amusement.

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Friday, May 29, 2009

Skywatch Friday

A grey day in Victor Harbor. We have more of these kinds of skies at the moment as winter rolls in.

More clouds and stuff at the Skywatch Friday Site.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Phuket Extortion Central

The bar mat thief got off lightly judging by this story. Our friends live in Phuket and we hear versions of this kind of things regularly. Not a great advert for Thai holidays. Scary stuff.

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Saturday, May 16, 2009

Photo Hunt: Painted

Moving into our house over a year ago, we spent a lot of time prepping before we painted most of the rooms. Hannah helped with some sanding in her own room. 

Prior to moving, one of the last parties was Ryan's scary party. Everybody had their face painted, including this scary lady who just happens to be the kids mother in her spare time. 

Friday, May 15, 2009

Skywatch Friday

Sunrise earlier this week. We had a very dramatic full moon and clear skies also this week.

More observers of the sky form at Skywatch Friday.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

School Tests - Bane of our Lives

My kids are both taking standardised national tests given to kids in years 3, 5, 7 and 9 this week. There is nothing like a good test to make you nervous.

Here is an example of the maths paper.





1. Shuggie has bought half a kilo of cocaine for large. He wants to make 300% on the deal and still pay Mad Malky his 10% protection money.
How much must he charge for a gram?

2. Wee Davie reckons he'll get £42.50 extra Marriage Allowance a week if he ties the knot with Fat Alice. Even if he steals the ring, the wedding will cost him £587. And he'll have to start buying two fish suppers at £3.95 each every night instead of one. How long will it be before Davie wishes he'd stayed single?

3. When Rangers play Celtic, their fans sing The Sash every 10 minutes when they're winning and every 15 minutes when they're losing. How many times did they sing it at last season's Cup Final?

4. Joey and Davie stole a 1999 green Toyota 1600GL with 35,000 on the clock - and got a grand for it. How much more would they have got if it had been metallic silver, done 29,000 miles and had low profile tyres?

5. Jake the Flake and Fingers got grassed up for dealing speed. The Flake got 18 months but Fingers got 3 years. How many more previous convictions did Fingers have

EXTRA CREDIT: Who was Fingers' Brief?

Name.............. .............................
Rugby Club..................................
Daddy's Company.........................

1. Gavin has a spare ticket for Julian Clary at The Festival Fringe.
But Benji and Adrian BOTH want to go with him. How long does he cry before giving them the tickets?

2. Half of Peter's friends say that they went to school with Ewan McGregor. Another third say they were Gordon Brown's flat mate at University. A sixth say that their dad played rugby with Tony Blair's dad and the rest say Sean Connery was their milkman. Only one is telling the truth, so how many friends does Peter have?

3. Todd wants to be a lawyer, but is as thick as Edinburgh Castle . His daddy is a Freemason and a QC. How long before Todd becomes the Lord Advocate?

4. Tamsin's Personal Trainer charges £250 a week, but has sex with her whenever she wants it. Jasmin's Life Coach charges £50 a week but has refused all sexual advances. Which one of the women weighs 19 stone?

5. Princes Street is 2467 yards long. On average, there is someone begging for money every 195 yards. You walk at 3.1 miles an hour. How long will it take if you tell them all to sod off and work for a living?

Clan ................................

1. After Hector's death, Archie has to pay Death Duty on Glenbogle.
With 25,000 acres, Archie must pay £1.76 for the first 15,000 acres and 90p per acre for the remainder, including VAT. How many people actually give a toss?

2. An Afro-American called Zachary Obisanjo Kokobobo asks a Tartan Shop in Inverness if he has any Scottish Geneaology. How long does it take to flog him full Highland dress and matching kilts for his wife and 10 kids?

3. If an Aberdeen supporter laid every sheep in Grampian Region end to end, how many people would be surprised?

4. If you caught a Loch Ness Monster 115 feet long and each foot weighed 27lbs, how much money would you make by selling your exclusive story and pictures?

Sorry, question 5 has been delayed by heavy snowfall and will be here as soon as the Cockbridge - Tomintoul road re-opens in the spring.

Thanks Jocko

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Has John Daly been taking fashion tips from Ian Poulter? - Telegraph

John Daly as clown? I want some to jazz up my work place. So styelz

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Chewin' the Fat - Mile High Club

The comments are classic. Did I really grow up in that country?

It's cos he was in the toilet by himself and he rubbed one out, ripped the heed, choked the chiken, beat the bishop, polished the rocking horse, stripped the fig, whipped the frog, whacked the cyclops, test-fired the one-eyed yogurt thrower, had a tug of war with the skin flute, debugged the purple-helmeted warrior of love, played pocket polo with the soft soap dispenser, tickled the mango, wrestled the dragon's tail, unloaded the morning missile, kneaded Willy the one-eyed wonder-worm

Great Scottish One Liners

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Saturday, May 09, 2009

Babies of the Caribbean!

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Photo Hunt In Memory

Trying to stay away from morbid themes. When I was little we had a blacksmith just down the road from our house. My mum used to take us for walks and we would watch him shoe horses. Dirty, hot and gloomy work. I have vivid memories of the huge bellows being used to heat up the coals. Our trip to Swan Hill in January brought us to the settlement where a recreated blacksmiths workshop was maintained as part of the many interesting historical displays. The blacksmith was just getting started for the day.

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357 – Forever Australia – Not: Poms Let Oz Map Fade Away « Strange Maps

Century Old Chalk Map carved in a Wiltshire hillside. You can see it correctly displayed upside down on Google Maps. http://tinyurl.com/p49ca4

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Arse Icons

We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:

:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by


Well, how about some 'ARSE-ICONS?'

Here goes:

(_!_) a regular arse

(__!__) a fat arse

(!) a tight arse

(_*_) a sore arse

{_!_} a swishy arse

(_o_) an arse that's been around

(_x_) kiss my arse

(_X_) leave my arse alone

(_zzz_) a tired arse

(_E=mc2_) a smart arse

(_£_) Money coming out of his arse

(_?_) Dumb arse

You have just been e-mooned!

Friday, May 08, 2009

Skywatch Friday

Some fields near Normanville, South Australia.

More nice skies at Skywatch Friday

Thursday, May 07, 2009

AdelaideNow... Fosters to package wine in recyclable plastic bottles

I blogged about wine in milk cartons earlier. I don't see why people would complain if they can live with cask wine. This is nicely presented. Proof is in the pudding. Does it taste good? Duh!

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Raw Power and No Trailer Homes in sight

Tornado Watch.

Still trying to work out where this came from, but it is very impressive. I never did work out why trailer parks got most of the action during tornadoes in the US.

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Friday, May 01, 2009

Skywatch Friday

Another early morning cloud pattern. Pinch and a Punch and enjoy the rest of the month.

More sky oriented photographic clever clogs at the Skywatch Site.

The world's weirdest festivals - Telegraph

I could live a happy and contented life and still miss these festivals.

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