An Address to the New Tay Bridge: William Topaz McGonagall

I had no idea that Topaz McGonagall had addressed the new Tay Bridge.
Here it is
BEAUTIFUL new railway bridge of the Silvery Tay,
With your strong brick piers and buttresses in so grand array,
And your thirteen central girders, which seem to my eye
Strong enough all windy storms to defy.
And as I gaze upon thee my heart feels gay,
Because thou are the greatest railway bridge of the present day,
And can be seen for miles away
From North, South, East or West of the Tay
On a beautiful and clear sunshiny day,
And ought to make the hearts of the "Mars" boys feel gay,
Because thine equal nowhere can be seen,
Only near by Dundee and the bonnie Magdalen Green.
Beautiful new railway bridge of the Silvery Tay,
With thy beautiful side-screens along your railway,
Which will be a great protection on a windy day,
So as the railway carriages won't be blown away,
And ought to cheer the hearts of the passengers night and day
As they are conveyed along thy beautiful railway,
And towering above the Silvery Tay,
Spanning the beautiful river shore to shore
Upwards of two miles and more,
Which is most beautiful to be seen
Near by Dundee and the bonnie Magdalen Green,
Thy structure to my eye seems strong and grand,
And the workmanship most skilfully planned;
And I hope the designers, Messrs Barlow and Arrol, will prosper for many a day
For erecting thee across the beautiful Tay.
And I think nobody need have the least dismay
To cross o'er thee by night or by day,
Because thy strength is visible to be seen
Near by Dundee and the bonnie Magdalen Green.
Beautiful new railway bridge of the Silvery Tay,
I wish you success for many a year and a day,
And I hope thousands of people will come from far away,
Both high and low without delay,
From the North, South, East and West,
Because as a railway bridge thou art the best;
Thou standest unequalled to be seen
Near by Dundee and bonnie Magdalen Green.
And for beauty thou art most lovely to be seen
As the train crosses o'er thee with her cloud of steam;
And you look well, painted the colour of marone,
And to find thy equal there is none,
Which, without fear of contradiction, I venture to say,
Because you are the longest railway bridge of the present day
That now crosses o'er a tidal river stream,
And the most handsome to be seen
Near by Dundee and the bonnie Magdalen Green.
The New Yorkers boast about their Brooklyn Bridge,
But in comparison to thee it seems like a midge,
Because thou spannest the Silvery Tay
A mile and more longer I venture to say;
Besides the railway carriages are pulled across by a rope,
Therefore Brooklyn Bridge cannot with thee cope;
And as you have been opened on the 20th day of June,
I hope Her Majesty Queen Victoria will visit thee very soon,
Because thou art worthy of a visit from Duke, Lord or Queen,
And strong and securely built, which is most worthy to be seen
Near by Dundee and the bonnie Magdalen Green.

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You can read this "Poetic Gem" online at
http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/poems/pgnew.htm
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       TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
In recent weeks, the Gem of the Day has been going out with all the
polished, technical finesse of one of William's poems. We are aware of
this fault, and are working on fixing it. We're not fixing the poems
though...
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Fifers Free At Last Free At Last

Forth Bridge

Tay Bridge

Fifers can afford a few extra pints a week as tolls are dropped on the Forth and Tay Road Bridges, making Scotlands roads toll free.

I can remember going on the ferry across the Tay and the Forth prior to the road bridges being built. I also remember a few trips to Kincardine to avoid the tolls (using up the toll cost in additional petrol). What a Scotsman will do to "save" money.

My brother and his wife and their children use the Forth Bridge almost every day. They'll be feeling rich this week.

No doubt this will be a brief hiatus before the cables on the Forth Bridge start to fail and a new bridge or tunnel has to be constructed.

William McGonagall The Worlds Worst Poet?

Some Scots are lobbying to recognise William Topaz McGonagall as a Scottish Poetic Icon. Many snooty Scots would like to have none of it.

The late 19th century poet's work is so bad he carried an umbrella with him at all times as protection from the barrage of rotten tomatoes he faced wherever he recited.

His most famous work, a poem initially titled The Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay, drew derision from crowds when it required a hasty rewrite after the structure collapsed in 1879.

It became The Tay Bridge Disaster with the immortal opening stanza: "Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay!/Alas! I am very sorry to say/That ninety lives have been taken away/On the last Sabbath day of 1879/Which will be remember'd for a very long time."

With gems like this, he will take some beating as the Worlds Worst Poet.

The Tay Bridge Disaster

Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay!
Alas! I am very sorry to say
That ninety lives have been taken away
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember'd for a very long time.

'Twas about seven o'clock at night,
And the wind it blew with all its might,
And the rain came pouring down,
And the dark clouds seem'd to frown,
And the Demon of the air seem'd to say-
"I'll blow down the Bridge of Tay."

more

More than 100 years after the poet's death, detractors still won't give him a break: The Scottish literary establishment has blocked plans for a memorial to him at the Writers Museum in Edinburgh alongside those honouring Robert Burns, Robert Louis Stevenson, and Sir Walter Scott.

Despite his plodding verse and excruciating rhymes, McGonagall has remained in print since his death in 1902. He was branded the "world's worst" by his own publisher who put the epithet on a volume of his works.

McGonagall himself was confident of his genius, believing his poetry to be second only to that of Shakespeare.

Today fans keep the flame alive with regular recitals and their own version of a Burns Supper - the annual gatherings marking Burns' birthday that include prodigious consumption of Scotch whiskey. At McGonagall night, the meal is eaten back to front with the dessert first and ending with the starter.

On such evenings, devotees are likely to declaim vintage McGonagall verses such as: "Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light/Thou seemest most charming to my sight/As I gaze upon thee in the sky so high/A tear of joy does moisten mine eye."

Neither McGonagall's home town of Edinburgh, nor his adopted city of Dundee, on the east coast of Scotland, has a statue to him - though both have plaques.

I grew up just down the road from the Tay Bridge, travelling over its replacement on many ocassions. The Tay Bridge Disaster is part of the local history. I think a statue to McGonagall overlooking the site of his most famous poem would be fitting.