Man Walks Across America

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My kind of politician. He makes Barnaby look normal.

Posted via web from poobumwee's posterous

Homer Proofing Election 08

Wouldn't want niggers and the ignorant to make the wrong choice, would we?
If it was Florida and Homer was black, the votes would be doubled.

Thanks for the Free American Democracy Lesson Mr Eugenides

Jigsaws and Geography Love it or Hate It.

If Jigsaws and Geography drive you batty, don't go here.

I used to hate jigsaws after being put off by life by sitting with my Grandmother, who loved them. It was my Christmas Day nightmare after lunch, the invitation to come and help with a ten million piece jigsaw of a forest with some grass. I have never quite got over it.

Geography on the other hand I enjoy. I did that in sixth year of High School as my specialist area and started off a University degree. Unfortunately that got lost in a year of drinking and partying and I ended up getting a degree in Sociology. How did that happen? More drinking and partying and that was all I could graduate with. Luckily my American girlfriend of the time paid for a ticket to the US and the rest, as they say, is history. I did get to see a lot of America, so I suppose that was a bit of geography.

I've Been Everywhere (Well a few places)

Ian introduced me to this nifty map, where you can show where you have traveled and lived around the world. It is very easy to use and a good way to pass an hour or so. Another American centric thingy, where you can pick countries, but for America you can pick states. Woopee.

Get Your Own Map

View Larger Map

Thanks Ian



"I've Been Everywhere"

I was toting my pack along the long dusty Winnemucca road
When along came a semi with a high canvas covered load
If your goin' to Winnemucca, Mack with me you can ride
And so I climbed into the cab and then I settled down inside
He asked me if I'd seen a road with so much dust and sand
And I said, "Listen! I've traveled every road in this here land!"

I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breathed the mountain air, man
Of travel I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere

I've been to:
Reno
Chicago
Fargo
Minnesota
Buffalo
Toronto
Winslow
Sarasota
Wichita
Tulsa
Ottawa
Oklahoma
Tampa
Panama
Mattawa
LaPaloma
Bangor
Baltimore
Salvador
Amarillo
Tocapillo
Barranquilla
And Padilla

I'm a Killer
I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breathed the mountain air, man
Of travel I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere

I've been to:
Boston
Charleston
Dayton
Louisiana
Washington
Houston
Kingston
Texarkana
Monterey
Ferriday
Santa Fe
Tallapoosa
Glen Rock
Black Rock
Little Rock
Oskaloosa
Tennessee
Tinnesay
Chicopee
Spirit Lake
Grand Lake
Devil's Lake
Crater Lake

For Pete's Sake
I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breathed the mountain air, man
Of travel I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere

I've been to:
Louisville
Nashville
Knoxville
Ombabika
Schefferville
Jacksonville
Waterville
Costa Rica
Pittsfield
Springfield
Bakersfield
Shreveport
Hackensack
Cadillac
Fond du Lac
Davenport
Idaho
Jellico
Argentina
Diamantina
Pasadena
Catalina

See What I Mean
I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breathed the mountain air, man
Of travel I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere

I've been to:
Pittsburgh
Parkersburg
Gravelbourg
Colorado
Ellensburg
Rexburg
Vicksburg
Eldorado
Larimore
Atmore
Haverstraw
Chatanika
Chaska
Nebraska
Alaska
Opelika
Baraboo
Waterloo
Kalamazoo
Kansas City
Sioux City
Cedar City
Dodge City

What A Pity
I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breathed the mountain air, man
Of travel I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere

I've been everywhere

Listening to Johnny Cash, I have been to quite a few of the towns on the American version of a very famous Australian song, with a lot of indecipherable names, which I have never been to and probably never will.




I've Been Everywhere by Geoff Mack©, as sung by Lucky Starr (1962)

Free Aussie Translation Service provided for the Auslingquistically challenged.

I've been everywhere...

Well, I was humpin' my bluey on the dusty Oodnadatta road,
When along came a semi with a high and canvas-covered load.
(Spoken) "If you're goin' to Oodnadatta, mate, um, with me you can ride."
So I climbed in the cabin and I settled down inside.
He asked me if I'd seen a road with so much dust and sand, I said
"Listen, mate, I've travelled ev'ry road in this here land."

Chorus:
Cos "I've been everywhere, man,
I've been everywhere, man.
'Cross the deserts bare, man;
I've breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I've had my share, man.
I've been ev'rywhere.

Been to:
Tullamore, Seymour, Lismore, Mooloolaba,
Nambour, Maroochydore, Kilmore, Murwillumbah,
Birdsville, Emmaville, Wallaville, Cunnamulla,
Condamine, Strathpine, Proserpine, Ulladulla,
Darwin, Gin Gin, Deniliquin, Muckadilla,
Wallumbilla, Boggabilla, Kumbarilla,
I'm a killer.

Chorus
(Spoken) "Yeah but listen here, mate, have you been to..."

I've been to Moree, Taree, Jerilderie, Bambaroo,
Toowoomba, Gunnedah, Caringbah, Woolloomooloo,
Dalveen, Tamborine, Engadine, Jindabyne,
Lithgow, Casino, Brigalow and Narromine,
Megalong, Wyong, Tuggerawong, Wanganella,
Morella, Augathella, Brindabella, I'm the feller.

Chorus
(Spoken) "Yeah, I know that, but have you been to..."

I've been to Wollongong, Geelong, Kurrajong, Mullumbimby,
Mittagong, Molong, Grong Grong, Goondiwindi,
Yarra Yarra, Boroondara, Wallangarra, Turramurra,
Boggabri, Gundagai, Narrabri, Tibooburra,
Gulgong, Adelong, Billabong, Cabramatta,
Parramatta, Wangaratta*, Coolangatta, what's it matter?

Chorus
(Spoken) "Yeah, look that's fine, but how about..."

I've been to Ettalong, Dandenong, Woodenbong, Ballarat,
Canberra, Milperra, Unanderra, Captain's Flat,
Cloncurry, River Murray, Kurri Kurri, Girraween,
Terrigal, Fingal, Stockinbingal, Collaroy and Narrabeen,
Bendigo, Dorrigo, Bangalow, Indooroopilly,
Kirribilli, Yeerongpilly, Wollondilly, don't be silly.

Chorus
I've been here, there, ev'rywhere, I've been ev'rywhere.

(Spoken) "Okay, mate, you've been ev'ry place except one, and ya don't need my help t'get there."
(Sound of door slamming and truck driving off.)

The End of the Earth. Please Get Off Now.

Al McQuada Smeats Its Match

More Al McQuada Bashing Humour


Those hapless Al-McQaeda boys were to find out that Glasgow has no respect for international terrorism. Nobody gets between 10,000 Weegies and a £99 week in Ibiza booked on Thursday night through Barrhead Travel.

If this had happened in a US airport, compared to Glasgow

Eyewitness accounts.

America: "Oh my God! There was a man on fire, he was running about, i just
ran for my life. I thought i was gonna die, he got so close to me"

Glasgow: "B**tard wis running aboot on fire, so a ran up n gave him a good
boot, then decked him"

America:" I just wanna get home, away from here. I just wanna get home, I
thought i was gonna die"

Glasgow:" here shug, am no leaving here till am oan a f*ckin' plane!"

America:" there was pandemonium, people were running in all directions, we
didn't know what was happening thought i was gonna die"


Glasgow:"F*ck this fir a kerry oan, moan we ll get a pint in"

America:" We thought he was gonna blow us all up he had a gas canister, and
was trying to get into his trunk, I thought we were gonna die, I just ran
for my life"

Glasgow:"a swaggered by the motor that wis on fire, and the dafty couldnae
even open his boot, he wis in fire annaw so a ran up n gave him a good boot
to the baws"


America: there was this huge explosion, it sounded like war, I thought i was
gonna die"

Glasgow:" There wis a bang, yi know when yi throw BO basher intae a fire it
wis like that"

America:" I'm too traumatized even to speak, I thought I was going to die"

Glasgow "here mate, gies 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear, if am gonna be
oan the telly a want her tae tape it"

Finally, two quotes from an eye-witness.........John Smeaton (these are
real)

John just surpassed himself on the National ITV news. The interviewer asked
"What message do you have for the bombers" - he replied "This is Glasgow
we'll just set about you"

John did an interview on CNN and they asked how he restrained the guy and
he said "me and other folk were just tryin 2 get the boot in and some
other guy banjoed him" !

Moral of the Story, Don't Mess with Scots on their way to Tennerife or Malaga (or anywhere where the sun shines).

Happy Holidays in America

After spending many years in America and enjoying the public holidays, it is a bit odd to be in other countries where the 4th of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day and Thanksgiving are just other days in the year. Today is just a work day here in Adelaide and most people would have no idea what an important holiday it is in America.

I used to enjoy all these holidays, which have increased importance in America because of the culture of work and limited vacation time for many people.

My best memories from the Fourth of July were in Washington DC, not so much on the mall, but along the Potomac River in the evening with many groups enjoying the warm weather and picnicking prior to and during the fireworks. I enjoyed the simple patriotism of the flags being flown in front gardens and the general celebration of being American.

Thanksgiving was a great holiday. We always spent it with some part of the family. I enjoyed the long trips to Vermont to share Thanksgiving Dinner with my former wifes family. Turkey and Cranberry Sauce, yum. It took me about 5 years to work out that the Detroit Lions and Dallas Cowboys always played at home on that Thursday.

Memorial Day and Labor Day were most memorable because of the traffic tie ups on the way to the Maryland Coast and Ocean City. I never did do that. We usually stayed at home by the pool and avoided everyone.

Anyway many happy memories of American Public Holidays. Happy 4th of July America!