Global Warming set to do in Haggis

Image via WikipediaThe mighty Scottish Haggis is fighting for its life with lung creepy crawlies lasting the winter better with the warmer weather, reports Scottish Culinary Correspondent, Matt Wardmann.

Bugger. Just toss in a few more spices and cook it a bit longer I say.

We may end up having to move to porridge and whiskey for our Burns nights.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Celebrating all things Scottish

My Mouth's Been Everywhere Man

The Food tasting meme

1. Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2. Bold all the items you.ve eaten.
3. Cross out any items that you would never consider eating (or eating again)
4. Optional extra: Post a comment http://www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat's milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth $120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald's Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S'mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frog's Legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Thanks Domestic Goddess with apologies to Johnny Cash.

I was surprised how many I had tried, never to return. I must have curious taste buds.

To make the filling out of this form and generating the HTML for it a bit easier, reddywhp has played around with some PHP. Go to http://reddywhip.org/lj/foods/ and fill it out there. After filling it out, you will be given the code to copy and paste into your blog.

Livejournal users, remember to use your LJ-Cuts!

Scottish People Sick of Being Made Fun Of

All I can say is that this is fuckin' racist ye English bastards.

It seems Scottish people are once again the but of abuse and jokes in the old country. Poor old Gordon Broon and his Scottish entourage, currently running one of the larger economies in the world and getting slammed right left and centre.

Apparently the Daily Mash people think that it is fun to make fun of poor Alistair Darling. Don't they know that Scottish people have had it with being mocked. It's been going on for hundreds of years. We have had it. Alex will be raising an army of ASBO recedivists to demonstrate the benefits of the Glasgae Kiss and the like if they don't back off.

"In the space of 20 seconds we heard four 'fuds', an 'erse', at least two 'keechs', and one 'gerrit right up ye, ya fuckin' shitebag'."

He added: "There were also five 'boabies', a 'basturt', three 'chebs', a 'bam', two 'fannybawz' and a 'come aheid ya fuckin' dobber'. We believe much of it may be offensive."

A spokesman for ITV said the show's Manchester-based staff had mistakenly invited the Scotsman onto the programme thinking he was either Bulgarian or mentally retarded.

We've had enough of this puerile shit.

Thanks to Ginro, who pointed me in the right direction.

And who is Jeremy Kyle? Any relation to Kyle of Lochalsh?

Thanks to the Daily Mash and Newmania for the excellent fashion shot. I want one of those.

And to top it off from Tuscan Tony's entertaining blog, we have the Slogan Generator with the key word Haggis.

Tonight, Let It Be Haggis.
Life Should Taste as Good as Haggis
Haggis stays sharp to the bottom of the glass

And finally another Canadian Myth

Marvin the Mounty always gets his Haggis.

Speaking of which, courtesy of JMB

It is good to know that we are not the only ethnic group that have to put up with this kind of stuff.

Every day is a Haggis Day in my world.

I'll Go For Foreign and Knowledeagable Thanks

You are 82% English.

You are either native and stupid, or you are foreign and knowledgeable.

How English are you?




In reality, I am about as English as a Haggis Supper at The Ritz.

Thanks James

What? Nae Haggis?

Maw. When am gettin aw nostalgic ye'll ken what tae send.

Thanks Tartan Cross Parcels

Happy Birthday Mr Burns

Tae a Haggis

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o'need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
Like taps o' trissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!

Tuck in now Lads and Lassies.

Tom Moody - Haggis Hurler Extraordinaire

One of the great things about summer in Australia is the cricket and although I don't watch it too much (who has time for that), I like to listen to it on the ABC. While I really like Kerry O'Keefe, there are many other very knowledgeable pundits who put out over the air waves.

This week they have had Tom Moody, a very tall former test cricketer, former Sri Lanka coach and currently coach with the Western Warriors. As they do with the rambling form of commentary, they got onto tangential areas, namely haggis hurling.

Apparently during the 1989 tour of the UK, the Australians played a match against Scotland (don't laugh) it wasn't rained out. While they were in the land of the haggis, Tom and some of his cricket buddies resplendent in kilts were guests at a highland games. While there he competed in the haggis hurling competition and threw a haggis 230 feet into the car park, denting a car and taking the unofficial world record. The snooty Scots don't recognise him as the world record holder, preferring somebody who threw 50 feet less.

So now you know.

Based on some of the ineffective bowling over the last few days and a desire to play night test matches, perhaps some red haggises could be a way forward for cricket in Australia.

There is Nothing as English as a Scotch Egg

The joy of Scotch Eggs is discussed by The Hitch.

As he so eloquently puts it.

Like all scotch eggs it tastes shit , only a Scottish cunt could have come up with the concept.

Funny because it was some English cunt from Fortnum and Mason of all places who figured out this delicacy junk food to inflict on poor unsuspecting snooty customers in 1738. No doubt the Scotch Egg was a joke on Scottish frugality.

My memories of Scotch Eggs was how difficult they are to make, getting the oozy sausage stuff to form around the egg. One of those things that are better to buy from the butcher.

For something genuinely Scottish, I can recommend the following.

Haggis Ingredients

"sheep's stomach bag
1 sheep's pluck - liver, lungs and heart
3 onions
250g beef Suet
150g oatmeal
salt and black pepper
a pinch of cayenne
150mls of stock/gravy


Haggis Cooking Directions:


1. Clean the stomach bag thoroughly and soak overnight. In the morning turn it inside out.

2. Wash the pluck and boil for 1.5 hours, ensuring the windpipe hangs over the pot allowing drainage of the impurities.

3. Mince the heart and lungs and grate half the liver.

4. Chop up the onions and suet.

5. Warm the oatmeal in the oven.

6. Mix all the above together and season with the salt and pepper. Then add the cayenne.

7. Pour over enough of the pluck boiled water to make the mixture watery.

8. Fill the bag with the mixture until it's half full.

9. Press out the air and sew the bag up.

10. Boil for 3 hours (you may need to prick the bag with a wee needle if it looks like blowing up!) without the lid on.

11. Serve with neeps and tatties."

Delicious.

For Afters, Hercules recommends the following. That way you wont remember anything.

Geography Quiz

Taking a leaf out of James Highams book, here is a Sunday Kwiz. Only one question, don't want to make it too challenging

1. A constituent country of the United Kingdom comprising the northern part of the island of Great Britain as well as the Hebrides, Shetland Islands, and Orkney Islands. Inhabited by Picts in prehistoric times, the region was invaded but never conquered by the Romans and split into a variety of small kingdoms after the fifth century A.D. In the ninth century most of this countrywas unified into one kingdom, but conflicts with the English to the south soon erupted, leading to a series of bloody wars. When Mary Queen of Scots's son James VI succeeded to the English throne in 1603, the two kingdoms were united. It became a part of the kingdom of Great Britain by a parliamentary act of 1707. Edinburgh is the capital and Glasgow the largest city. Population: 5,090,000.

They have really crap weather, greasy food, drink too much, have some of the worst health statistics in the world, talk funny, drink too much, have a really crap cricket team and their football team were recently Unofficial World Football Champions.

The prize is a years supply of haggis, which for for most people, will not be too much.

Place your answers in a glass bottle and throw them in the ocean. A winner will be announced if I receive any entries.

January 25th Burns Day

Today is the day many Scots celebrate Rabbie Burns, The Bard, felt to be Scotlands National Poet by many, or as Snootipedia describes him as a "poet and lyricist". Sounds a bit pretentious, for such a common man born into poverty and who grew up looking after the cattle. Born exactly 200 years before me and living only 37 years, he developed a tremendous legacy of Scottish language.

Many will eat haggis and drink whiskey at numerous Burns Suppers around the world. These are generally pretty formal and stuffy events, based upon my experience of attendance at one in Singapore about ten years ago. Generally, drunken people get up and talk funny and then tuck into haggis and the required embellishments. Although I am quite partial to haggis now and again, whiskey you can keep for the most part.

A little background for the uninitiated.

Fae Scottish Wikipedia

Haggis is a traditional Scots dish. It is a wechtie pudden traditionally served wi chappit neeps an tatties.

Altho the'r monie recipes, some uisin deer emmledeug, for ordinar it's makkit wi the follaein ingredients: sheep's hert, liver, an lichts, minced wi ingan, aitmael, shuet, spices, and saut, mixt wi bree an traditionally byled in the beast's painch for several hoors. It is amang the maist muckle kinds o sassenger. The'r recipes athoot maet an aa, speceifically for vegetarians, that tastes gey seimilar tae the maet-based receipts.

There's even a wee Haggis poem by Robert Burns. This is the first verse of Tae a Haggis, spoken prior to the ritual decapitation of the poor wee beastie prior to being devoured.

"Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the Puddin-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy of a grace As lang's my arm."