Why Doctors are Paid TOO Much

Thanks First Dog on the Moon c/o Crikey.

What a waste of Mars Bars.

The Wearin' o the kilt

Mike Smith of Auld Reekie Rants has pulled together a great You know when you are Scottish when... list. A potted guide to Scottish culture if ever I saw one. Sounds like an oxymoron hower, Scotland and culture in the same sentence.

Anyway here are a few. I can identify with many of these despite having lived out of Scotland for almost 25 years.

Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a northerly wind is good weather.

The only sausage you like is square.

You have been forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at high school.

Aye = yes.

Aye right = not likely.

Auld yin = someone over 40.

Baltic =freezing.

You have an irrational need to eat anything fried with your supper from the chippy e.g. haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish, chicken.

You used to love destroying your teeth when you were young: Buchanan's toffees, tablet, Irn-Bru bars, Cola cubes, etc.

You have an enormous feeling of dread whenever Scotland play a diddy team.

You happily engage in a conversation about the weather.

and many more at Mike's site.

Every now and then I put on my Scottish dress outfit for company parties and the like here in Adelaide and in other parts of the world where I have lived and it is an amazing ice breaker. All the stereotypes come out and people who would not normally talk to you are happy to discuss all aspects of my heritage, not least, what we wear under my kilt. It is the only time when it is fair game to flash young ladies. That usually gets them to shut up.

The best reaction was when I wore a large fake penis that my wife had fashioned out of a stuffed stocking for a bad taste party. I wore it with a 60s, ladies bathing costume and a wig for the bad taste party. It got quite a reaction. I got an even better reaction when I wore it with my kilt.

It was very surprising, because not only do people not expect you to reveal your Scottish secret, but when you do and it is a monster it doubles the fun. People just had to touch it. The power of the truth about what Scotsmen wear under their kilts and a little bit of jelousy combine for a great reaction.

All good clean fun.

Talking of good clean fun, one of our local chip shops run by a nice Lebanese lady sells Deep Fried Mars Bars. Now all I need is for her to experiment with deep fried pizza and I can feel right at home.

Aye Right?

Deep Fried Mars Bars available in Flagstaff Hill

Image via WikipediaStopping to get chips on the way home on Saturday, I noticed that this great Scottish delicacy was available locally at the Lebanese fish and chip shop. The owner confirmed that they were very popular and that the key was deep freezing the Mars Bars. Her early attempts had been disastrously gooey.

Judging from the first lot of chips that I returned, maybe there was too much chocolate in the fat.

Martians eat Turnips?

Turnip manufacturers are fast at work trying to work out how to bring Martian turnips down to Earth.

Some Martian dirt has the same basic chemistry as garden soil, a new analysis from the Phoenix lander suggests. The find widens the range of organisms that might be able to live on Mars.

Personally I am curious whether they will find Mars Bars.


And the answer to the ultimate question. Is there water on Mars?



And is there life?

So many questions. I always intrigued by people who say that they want to go. Imagine a diet of turnips and asparagus. That would be a big chunk of you life sitting in a capsule eating packaged foods until your vegetables grew. Probably better to wait for time travel. Personally I would rather stay home and eat Mars Bars.

One of those radio chefs was on yesterday expounding the fantastic culinary benefits of turnips, beetroot and parsnips. I think that is a hard sell, with the major benefit being that they are in season and cheap. I would imagine that Martian Turnips would be a bit more expensive.

Precooked Fish Coming Soon

It won't be long until we only have to deep fry the chips (and the Mars Bars).

And a local variety. This is a novel way to get smoked trout.

Deep Fried Mars Bar

Francis Xavier Holden's Scottish adventuring got me thinking about Scottish food after his post on Deep Fried Mars Bars. It is funny how things that look so bad and are bad for you, could taste so good.

Here is the before and after. Full instructions for those inclined, here. Cultural context and more information than you need here

And for proof, there's this.

For those with a more international taste, you can try deep fried coke.

Update:

Fried Coke has become the latest artery-clogging hit at US state fairs.

The gooey Coke-battered nuggets topped with cola syrup won the "most creative" title at the Texas state fair in Dallas last month. Fried treats are as big of a draw at state fairs as the rides and prize-winning farm animals. Twinkies, cookies and even pickles are stuck with a stick, dipped in batter and then seared in the deep fryer.

Fried Coke's inventor, concessionaire Abel Gonzales Jr, is a creative fryer whose experiments have proven popular. Last year, he sold 20,000 fried peanut butter, jelly and banana sandwiches

Fried Coke looks to be an even bigger hit: he sold 16,000 cups of the sticky balls in the first two weeks. He reworked the recipe to make the dough less cakey and more spongy so it would soak up more of the cola syrup.