Monday, August 31, 2009

Greenlands Mountains

The scenery and the way the awfy poet fae Dundee saw it.

GREENLAND'S icy mountains are fascinating and grand,
And wondrously created by the Almighty's command;
And the works of the Almighty there's few can understand:
Who knows but it might be a part of Fairyland?

Because there are churches of ice, and houses glittering like glass,
And for scenic grandeur there's nothing can it surpass,
Besides there's monuments and spires, also ruins,
Which serve for a safe retreat from the wild bruins.

And there's icy crags and precipices, also beautiful waterfalls,
And as the stranger gazes thereon, his heart it appals
With a mixture of wonder, fear, and delight,
Till at last he exclaims, Oh! what a wonderful sight!

The icy mountains they're higher than a brig's topmast,
And the stranger in amazement stands aghast
As he beholds the water flowing off the melted ice
Adown the mountain sides, that he cries out, Oh! how nice!

Such sights as these are truly magnificent to be seen,
Only that the mountain tops are white instead of green,
And rents and caverns in them, the same as on a rugged mountain side,
And suitable places, in my opinion, for mermaids to reside.

Sometimes these icy mountains suddenly topple o'er
With a wild and rumbling hollow-starting roar;
And new peaks and cliffs rise up out of the sea,
While great cataracts of uplifted brine pour down furiously.

And those that can witness such an awful sight
Can only gaze thereon in solemn silence and delight,
And the most Godfearless man that hath this region trod
Would be forced to recognise the power and majesty of God.

Oh! how awful and grand it must be on a sunshiny day
To see one of these icy mountains in pieces give way!
While, crack after crack, it falls with a mighty crash
Flat upon the sea with a fearful splash.

And in the breaking up of these mountains they roar like thunder,
Which causes the stranger no doubt to wonder;
Also the Esquimaux of Greenland betimes will stand
And gaze on the wondrous work of the Almighty so grand.

When these icy mountains are falling, the report is like big guns,
And the glittering brilliancy of them causes mock-suns,
And around them there's connected a beautiful ring of light,
And as the stranger looks thereon, it fills his heart with delight.

Oh! think on the danger of seafaring men
If any of these mighty mountains where falling on them;
Alas! they would be killed ere the hand of man could them save
And, poor creatures, very likely find a watery grave!

'Tis most beautiful to see and hear the whales whistling and blowing,
And the sailors in their small boats quickly after them rowing,
While the whales keep lashing the water all their might
With their mighty tails, left and right.

In winter there's no sunlight there night or day,
Which, no doubt, will cause the time to pass tediously away,
And cause the Esquimaux to long for the light of day,
So as they will get basking themselves in the sun's bright array.

In summer there is perpetual sunlight,
Which fill the Esquimaux's hearts with delight;
And is seen every day and night in the blue sky,
Which makes the scenery appear most beautiful to the eye.

During summer and winter there the land is covered with snow,
Which sometimes must fill the Esquimaux' hearts with woe
As they traverse fields of ice, ten or fifteen feet thick,
And with cold, no doubt, their hearts will be touched to the quick.

And let those that read or hear this feel thankful to God
That the icy fields of Greenland they have never trod;
Especially while seated around the fireside on a cold winter night,
Let them think of the cold and hardships Greenland sailors have to fight.

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Jimmy Shand - Bluebell Polka

My Grandfather was a great friend of Jimmy Shand and his band. This song was Top of the Pops in the UK in the 1950s. I love the Dead Pan look.

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Last orders for classic British pint

Fresh from some Scottish licensing lunacy, the UK Government is set to introduce plastic pint glasses. How about just adding a requirement for a bib.

The government's idea is that by introducing shatter-proof plastic vessels it will help address the increasing problem of beer drinkers using pint glasses as weapons in their local pubs.

Needless to say the plan has gone down about as well as a warm beer served, well, in a plastic cup.

Making everyone suffer for the sins of a few is nutty public policy.

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Saturday, August 29, 2009

Ian Dury - Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick (live)

Absolute cracker.

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Photo Hunt: Surprise

Scary Surprise! Darth Spotty
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Spotty and the Chickens


OK. Time to come in now.

Where'd that bone go?

Spotty is such a good natured dog. He has tolerated 10 bantams, two ducks, a cat, two rabbits and now four bossy chickens. He even shares his food with them, along with his hutch. He is the only one allowed inside and that is where he prefers to be.

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Wrist-mounted flamethrowers

My brother used to do the real thing. Me not so keen to have meths in my mouth, I am happy enough to play with the gas lighter.

Thanks @FXmogulradio

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Thursday, August 27, 2009

Kid Wisdom

Very profound thoughts from my eight year old son.

Human Zoo

Outside the cafe at Bristol Zoo.

North Korea launches stealth nuclear armed jellyfish attack on Japan

Massive wave of jellyfish to attack Japan.

Military sources are investigating ways to counter the underwater terrorist attack. Sponge Bob Square Pants has been consulted on methods of diversion, including bribes of crabby patties for the slow moving threat.

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Sir Paul McCartney "Not Dead"

Word spread nearly 40 years ago that the musician had died in an accident in 1966 and a series of clues on the cover of The Beatles' last recorded album Abbey Road proved it.

''I think the worst thing that happened was that I could see people sort of looking at me more closely - 'were his ears always like that? said Sir Paul.

The story - which is still one of the most popular searches about Sir Paul on Google - circulated in October 1969 after a Detroit DJ made the claim that the band had recruited a replacement, William Campbell, following Sir Paul's death.

His lack of shoes as he crossed the zebra crossing on the album sleeve was used as a pointer to the fact the real bass player was no longer alive. The pose was said to represent a funeral procession and a car number plate containing '28IF' was said to refer to the fact Sir Paul would have been 28 when the album came out - if he had lived.

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Walkin Blues

Taylor Swift - Parody - You Belong With Me ("Just A Zombie")

My daughter knows all the words to this one. She had written them down last night and I showed them to my wife. We both could not believe that she had written it. Turns out, she had just copied the subtitles. Goth at 10. Scary. What have we done.

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Becks not so popular in the US

Simon Middleton, a brand strategy expert says: “David Beckham getting booed by the LA supporters is about not understanding the American psyche. One of the things Americans value hugely is authenticity and commitment. I think what they saw in his return is that he is not absolutely committed and they are suspicious of him.

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Monday, August 24, 2009


Some thoughts from an Australian perspective.

Let the goats be scaped.

Ponting - his captaincy is not up to the measure of his batting. He'll still retire on his own terms.
Hussey - no Tests in the next couple of months - he can find form or failure in the one dayers, no-one gives a shit about those.
Hughes - get him into the one day side.
Clark - retirement?
Lee - Do a Flintoff, retire from Tests.
Spinners - Does anyone seriously think Krezja or Hauritz are any worse than Swann or Harris? Get them in a room with Warne and teach them to be winners.

The selectors....

These are the guys who hold the teams fate in their hands.
It's a big job.
It's a full time job.
It's not a hobby you undertake when you're not doing this :
or this :
or thinking this :

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Ponting Spits Blood

as the Poms grab the Ashes.

That's all

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Will that be one snort or two sir?

And would you prefer it shaken or stirred?

Tonight we have two types of cocaine; normal for 100 Bolivianos a gram, and strong cocaine for 150 [Bolivianos] a gram." The waiter has just finished taking our drink order of two rum-and-Cokes here in La Paz, Bolivia, and as everybody in this bar knows, he is now offering the main course. The bottled water is on the house.

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Victorian Exercise Chair

Now this is my kind of work out. There are many more medical oddities in the linked article. Anti masturbation holster and the mobile enema kit are worth a look.

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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Tree Climbing Goats from Morocco

Wilson Tuckey and the new Coalition Leadership team conduct a strategy workshop.

A little bizarreness to start the day.

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Saturday, August 15, 2009

Photo Hunt Artificial

Artificial Ears

Artificial Hair

Artificial Hair

Artificial Hair, Sword, Hook and Moustache. Real Wine

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Friday, August 14, 2009

Skywatch Friday

Winter beach and sky, Normanville, South Australia.

More nice skies at the Skywatch Friday Site.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I need to get a real life

Number 1 in Australia and Number 2 in the world for search. No SEO was involved in this feat. Just time wasting.

Matchy Watchy and More

I love this site. Luckily my family did not have many photographs taken of us. On the other hand our kids are heavily documented. They will hate us later. Thanks @leighsales and The Punch

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Saturday, August 08, 2009

Photohunt: Low


This is one of my former projects. With all the excavations for the foundations and the car parks, the workers are pretty low compared to my vantage point up high on the next building. Lame I know, but a tricky theme.

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