The Dopey Individuals Guide to Avoiding "You're Nicked"

A North Carolina woman was arrested after complaining to a police officer that the crack cocaine she had just purchased wasn’t very good, authorities said.

Eloise D. Reaves, 50, approached the Putnam County sheriff’s deputy at a convenience store Friday, telling him that another man had sold her “bad crack” that contained wax and cocaine.

She pulled an alleged crack rock out of her mouth and placed it on the deputy’s car for inspection, the Palatka Daily News reported for Tuesday editions.

Aside from not making crack-related quality control complaints to the local police force, it is further recommended that you refrain from calling 911 to report stolen marijuana plants.

A Wichita man called 911 to report he was the victim of an armed robbery. The theft? A pound of marijuana worth about $1,100 that he had been trying to sell at his home.

The victim told police Thursday that a buyer had pulled out a sawed-off shotgun and stole the drugs.

Police brought in a drug-sniffing dog to the house and located more marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

The victim was booked into Sedgwick County jail on several charges, including possession with the intent to sell drug.

Shamelessly stolen from Road to Surfdom, but in the spirit of sharing, made available to you.