Are men boring?

Sabine Durrant thinks British men are boring.

Not judging from the long and boring article itself and the witty comments to the article.

I recommend skipping the article and reading the hostile reaction she stirred up.

Marriage Guidance 101

I am forever indebted to Nunyaa and Auld Reekie Rants for the following valuable advice. I am coming up to my ten year anniversary second time around. Perhaps digesting this will allow me to get through the next ten years relatively unscathed and with the same woman.

WORDS WOMEN USE:

1. Fine:
this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5. Loud Sigh:
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That’s Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks:
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8. Whatever:
Is a women’s way of saying F**K YOU!

9. Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “what’s wrong”, for the woman’s response refer to # 3.

10. No:
This is the most complicated word a woman can use with a man. This is because she will say no, and mean no, or she will say no but mean yes. You will never get this right no matter what, so it is best not to try. Just remember, if she has salad and you have fries or pizza and you offer her some and and she says no, allow her to eat off of your plate without questioning her, or better yet, just give her half. This may also mean she is upset when she says she is not, and if you dare to ask “why” she will either respond with “nothing” — refer to # 3, or I’m “fine” — refer to # 1.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

9. Do you want to go to the cinema? = I'd like to have sex with you.

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay


OK I am off to practice until my wife gets up. Was that yes or no with two sugars ma'am?

Twiggy No Thanks

Nunyaa raised the question a few weeks ago and James also asked for input.

Sixty thousand sex obsessesed males discerning readers of FHM have voted and the verdict suggests that men prefer women more full in size than women themselves perceive that men would like.

Professor Marika Tiggemann from Flinders University said that the results supported academic research on the topic. "We find women want to be thinner than what men find attractive," she said. "Men's idea of what is 'thin' is larger than that of women. Unfortunately, a lot of people think being thin demonstrates being in control or being disciplined, while being fat is a sign you're weak."

Plenty other opinions in the article. Me I have no comment. I am married and my wife reads my blog from time to time. My interest is purely academic. I also only read those kinds of magazines for the articles.

Tables Turning on Men in Adland?

I showed this article on politically incorrect portrayals of women in advertising, to my wife and I was interested by her response, which was that the tables had turned and that it was more often that men are portrayed negatively in the medja and in commercial advertising now. Not being one to watch too much commercial television I cannot say that I had noticed it too much other than portrayals of lazy,slovenly, beer drinking, football watching, do nothing men that are often the standard fare of beer commercials. That got me thinking and asked Uncle Google to enlighten me. Jim McNamara writing in an Online Opinion Article Dissing Men: The New Gender War addresses this very point.

Feminism has drawn attention to and fought against stereotypical and sexist portrayals of women in mass media, but new research shows that media portrayals of gender have largely done an about face in the past decade or so. There is a new “gender war” and the main target of discrimination is no longer women, according to research - it is men.

He continues.

To the extent that the negative views of men and masculinity in mass media reflect social attitudes, these findings have alarming implications for men and boys and for societies generally. Just as women have struggled against misogyny, men today face an increasingly misandric world that devalues and demonises them and gives them little basis for self-esteem.

In our kids school they have had programmes in place to support learning for girls and they are starting to see a big improvement and there is now concern that boys are falling behind. Programmes are now being designed to emphasise learning for boys. Seems like it is very similar to the issues discussed in the paper.