Yuch!! It's got seeds and nuts

My son has a hard time with any kind of "healthy" bread. When he is presented with the offending article, he turns up his nose and advises that it has seeds and/or nuts and returns the plate. Yucky white bread only please.

Piano Lessons

My daughter has just started piano lessons after almost three years of having fun with our electronic keyboard. I remember piano lessons as boring and tedious. I learned to play Mary had a Little Lamb and then stopped. I am so happy that she loves it so much. Even early on, the competitive factors come to play, however, with the kids in her class comparing the teachers grades after lesson two. They just can't help it. He was quite shocked at the competitiveness and plans to use more generic grading. We are very relaxed about it all. It makes me angry that Dr Nelson bribed the States to put in graded report cards in return for Commonwealth funds. Can you imagine reception kids being given an E for reading or writing. Kids are so different and what they do not need is to have their self esteem squished early in their education careers. Plenty of time for that later.

Stress Management

My wife and her team were reviewing corporate stress management protocols in the office. Helpfully, for those in distress, there was a long list of potential stress management strategies. Included in the bulleted strategies was multi killing (instead of multi skilling). I am sure that would be the ultimate stress relief (for about a minute). Imagine if you could dispose of all those annoying colleagues in one fell swoop. When she posed the question to her boss, he came back that she had to make sure that she could still get her teams work done and that she would have to clean up. Not really recommended, but worth pondering. Perhaps this is the corporate alternative to downsizing and layoffs.

Green Porridge

I had no idea that there were so many types of Green Porridge. My Blog Title came from my brother, who fed some extremely hungover and tired Grouse Beaters, Green Porridge first thing in the morning after their last night shindig and a few hours sleep.

Liars Gallery

Trust Me (I'm a Rat)

Captain Capitalism

Coming from a Superhero Worship Household, we have a new Superhero to explore. Captain Capitalism is saving the world from Intergalactic Communism and propping up the Consumer Economy. Funny cartoons and other related stuff. For people like me with poor money habits, the cartoon about the kid being forced to give up his piggy bank contents to prop up the local newsagent and the big business preserving world order, behind the comics, is a bit too close to the bone. All very tongue in cheek.

Atmospherique Amour Pollution Alert en Amerique

For the Anniversary of the Roman Fertility Festival of Lupercalia, the predecesser of Valentines Day, originally celebrated on 15 February, in honour of the gods Lupercus and Faunus, a warning about pending love pollution. Danger Australia next.

Run Danna Run

Danna Vale's argument is exactly the same one that the Singapore Government (majority Chinese) use. They offer incentives for more children and discourage abortion to address the threat of the significantly larger birth rate of Muslims. The fear tactics are designed to ensure that their majority continues. Woooo Scary Muslims coming Danna. Don't go out at night or the Boogy Monster will get you. Alternative views here.

Spotty and Donkey

Watching Shrek and his relationship with Donkey with the kids, made me realise that I have a very similar relationship with our dog, Spotty. He is alternatively fun, annoying, frustrating, stupid, exasperating, funny, loyal, irritating, non judgemental, patient, free spirited, gooby, athletic..... I particularly noted the part of the film when he slinks, ears down, tail down out of Shrek's house after being tossed out. Spotty does this every night, when asked politely to leave the comfort of inside life for a bleak night in his comfy kennel.

Ta Ta Mr IncrEddiebull

No more Eddie on the box. Hooray!!!! Also a very clever post on the new Channel Nine Logo

Crash Bang Wallop Pop Compute

Apparently ENIAC, the first working electronic digital computer and the dinosaur of the current lightweight superfast models, is 60 years old this week. By today's standards for electronic computers the ENIAC was a grotesque monster. Its thirty separate units, plus power supply and forced-air cooling, were over 30 meters long and weighed over thirty tons. Its 19,000 vacuum tubes, 1,500 relays, and hundreds of thousands of resistors, capacitors, and inductors consumed almost 200 kilowatts of electrical power. All this for a price of less than 500,000 dollars. It has since been chopped up and put on display in various museums as a prehistoric (by digital standards) electronic display. This was no ordinary desktop Booting it up required a large team to set it up and operate it as it calculated trajectories for missiles. All the programmes had to be hard wired every time they changed the programme. It makes my current frustrations with my somewhat slow computer seem very trivial.

G'day Mate Crikey Come to Australia

Nice to see that Steve Irwin has recovered from the hoo ha about feeding his children to crocodiles. In his contribution to the development of law in Queensland, a section of the law has been changed to ban children (and untrained adults) from crocodile enclosures. In a bid to recover some of his lost revenues and to restore his image, he has landed a very lucrative publicity contract with Honest John Inc. He is the new (old) face of Oz in the US and Asia. Any notion of revamping the countries image abroad has been hindered by a government-backed marketing campaign that capitalises on the very clichés that ordinary Australians have spent years trying to shake off. The theory is that he is just reinforcing the way people outside Australia see or want to see Australia, so why fight a strong image. Crikey!!

Meanwhile back in the USA

Woman busted for importing dried human head in luggage

A woman's been arrested at the Fort Lauderdale airport for attempting to import a dessicated head from Haiti -- she said she needed it to protect her from evil spirits.

"Severe stated that she had obtained the package, which contained a human head, from a male in Haiti for use as part of her voodoo beliefs," the US Attorney's Office said in a statement.

A spokesman for Miami's immigration and customs agency told the AFP news agency that the head was not simply a skull.

"It had teeth, hair and skin, and quite a lot of dirt," she said.

Python (Monty) and the Quest for the Grail (Holy)

This has got to be one of the silliest movies every. Proof is from how much my children love (gore aside) it. It addresses all the important issues in life. They always laugh at Patsy with the coconuts pretending to be a horse. The ending scene was filmed just up the road from the University of Stirling where I was graciously allowed to leave with a degree. Many of the extras were students from the University. At High School, I remember a huge cultural divide betweeen the bright kids and those not so bright as to whether it was a good movie. The rough nuts all thought that it was stupid. Every time I watch it, there is something new and interesting.

When a Dollar is not a Dollar

I gave my 5 year old son a dollar to spend at the canteen. He got really annoyed and said that it was not enough and started to cry. I tried to reason with him about how a dollar was plenty. He wanted to go and raid his piggy bank for more. Clever Mummy worked out that it was not the amount, but the number of coins that was the issue. He was very happy to accept 5 twenty cent coins instead. More traumas later when he complained that the canteen was keeping his money when he bought things. Introduction to the Capitalist Economy 101, from Dad later, he was still not entirely thrilled. It just seemed soooo unfair for them to take his money.

Who's the biggest farter

Farts (Pop Offs for the polite among us) are tremendously interesting for my kids at the moment. It is up there with bottoms, toilets, burps, boobies and other such "naughty" subjects. According to the kids science programme this morning, Elephants do the most farts, although, according to another source it is termites. I suspect that it may be by volume, noise and smell. Walter the Farting Dog is a fantastic children's story, about a dog who manages to hang in the family despite his horrendodoriferous problem. We always blame Spotty when it happens in our family (especially if he is out of the room). My son loves Shrek when he burps and farts. He is a true expert in this department. More technical information here.

Jazzing Up Boring One Day Cricket

Something is wrong with the house of one day cricket. It is too often boring in the middle stages and for the latter part of lost cause run chases. Other than bringing back WG Grace and more groovy hairstyles ala Hamish Marshall, I think that they need to have a pool of up to three specialist players to jazz the game up. I mean the AFL has 5 or so and NFL football has 3oo or so, I think that there is room for a few additional Andrew Symonds, Shahid Afridis, Kevin Pietersens, dancing girls....The only thing that makes it tolerable is ABC Radio Coverage, especially when Kerry O'Keefe is passing judgement. Some of the Twenty20 entertainment stuff might also work. I think they should also limit the fielders in the outfield for longer. So what if they have scores of 500. At least it would be more entertaining.

Acacia Pycnantha

I was doing a little research on the native seedlings that I am growing in my back yard this year. Turns out Acacia Pycnantha is Golden Wattle or Australias Floral Emblem. Wow, in the presence of floral royalty. They look pretty puny now, but hopefully they will turn out nice.

Our Dog

We have a very friendly and often very annoying Tenterfield Terrier called Spotty (original eh!). Tenterfields are a recognised breed from South Australia. They are a cross between a Jack Russell and a Miniature Fox Terrier. I can recommend this type of dog for families with small children. They love to run and play and are magnets for affection. They are extremely patient with all the games and dress up humiliations that they get from the children. Once they get over the chewing stage, they are fairly obedient and manageable (when it suits them). My daughter had a book about a dog called Jumper who jumped and jumped and jumped. That would be a good name for Spotty.

Coopers Pale

When I first came to Australia, it was a surprise that beers were served so cold. I was expecting more room temperature beers, given the British heritage. Once I realised that it is generally hot here, it made sense. Duh! Anyway once I got over that obvious one, I tried a few. Fosters had been heavily marketed in the UK in the early 1980s (only Real Ozzies drink Fosters). They had a really appealing advertising campaign. I was surprised that it was so heavily derided here. I stayed away. Likewise, VB is widely available in Singapore and similarly derided by most in Oz. Again they have a great advertising campaign here in Australia. I suspect that the quality of the advertising is inversely related to the quality of the beer. When I first got to Adelaide, I tried the local favourite, Coopers Pale Ale, made here in Adelaide. It was a very unusual taste. It is naturally brewed, with no preservatives and fermented in the bottle, giving it a slightly cloudy look. I have grown to like it (a lot). The green label is a South Australian Cultural Icon. Go away Lion Nathan. Leave my beer alone. Spend your money on funny advertising.

Thank Goodness for School Uniform Allelujah Amen

Even although my kids are not going to Hogwarts, I am very thankful for school uniform. My son goes and puts on his uniform every day and my daughter only argues, if she cannot find the colour of socks that she wants. I cannot imagine the challenges of having to fight over what to wear every day if there were more choices. I didn't have to wear school uniform in Primary School. My only issue about school uniform in wet,windy, cold, miserable Scotland is that it was not very practical for the weather. Blazers do not keep out horizontal rain or keep you warm at zero degrees.

Homework Sucks

Today our daughter had her first ever ever homework. It is amazing to be on the parent end for the first time. At one level you just want to do it, but have to continually bite your teeth. Onwards.

The source of optimism

I have to think that Bananas in Pyjamas are some of the most optimistic things in the world. My kids wont watch anymore, but they were WAY popular in the past. Just be careful with that rat.

When I was young

Just down the road from where I grew up in Fife, was Lower Largo, home of Robinson Crusoe. At 101 Main Street is the statue (above) marking the thatched cottage where Alexander Selkirk was born. The son of a shoemaker, he left for a life at sea. After a quarrel with the captain of the ship he was put ashore for four lonely years on the deserted island of Juan Fernandez. In reality, Lower Largo was a fun place to go to the beach. We loved to go to Jureki's ice cream shop.

Snoring

One of the more unusual life experiences is when you are whacked by your partner for snoring. It seems SO unfair. Anyway, I have done a sleep study and determined that I am a level 2 snorer (Scale 0-4). I am very rarely bashed now. I must be improving.

Salt and Vinegar Crisps

Since I was very little, I have only really liked Salt and Vinegar Crisps. You can keep all the others. Here in Adelaide, Smiths, made here in Australia since 1931 are pretty good.

Crazy Madness

It is mindboggling that a series of fairly benign (by Western standards), cartoons could be connected with such mob minded violence. Very scary. As one correspondent in the Australian noted that "in defending their right to caricature God, they are demonstrating the real meaning of tolerance. The religious must all respect and agree with each other, while the non-religious are free to deride them all."

Me Want Carrot

I don't know about you, but I just cannot envisage Cookie Monster not cramming cookies into his mouth or god forbid eat carrots. Enough pc programming.

I want my Mummie

We went to see the Egyptology exhibit at the South Australian Museum today (the last day) with the kids. Very interesting exhibit. When they were preparing the body they removed all the organs except the heart. The brain (considered unimportant) was pulled out through the nose. Highly skilled according to a contemporary American mummieologist, who recently conducted the first mummification for thousands of years. It makes you wonder what happened to such an interesting and complex society. The kids were alternately spooked by some of the more gruesome displays and intrigued by the whole process of death and the afterlife. For me, it made me think about some of the current wierd unpleasant stuff from that region.

For Annoying Little Brothers

"No wun is a lawd in mI Room"
Note on my daughters room door.