Bovine Economic Models

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both
and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both
and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The Government takes both
and gases you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both,
shoots one, milks the
other and throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and
buy a bull. Your herd
multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one,
and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows. Later, you hire
a consultant to analyze why the cow
dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike
because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them
so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk. You then create a
clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon
and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so
they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where
they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn
you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn
you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows
and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking
them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity,
and arrest the newsman who reported
the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one to buy beer
and the other goes on the barbie.