Tarzan Sex Lesson

When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex? 'Tarzan not know sex' he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said ‘Oh ...Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.' Horrified Jane said, 'Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly.' She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground. 'Here' she said, pointing to her privates, 'you must put it in here.' Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer to her and kicked her in the crotch! Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed 'What did you do that for?' Tarzan replied, 'Tarzan check for squirrel.'

Tree Climbing Goats from Morocco

via telegraph.co.uk

Wilson Tuckey and the new Coalition Leadership team conduct a strategy workshop.

A little bizarreness to start the day.

Posted via web from poobumwee's posterous

Ryanaldo starts his Football Career

This article took me back to my childhood. We used to be let loose for hours at a time to wander around the countryside, climb trees, visit farms and pass the time. I know that we control our kids much more than my parents did. All their activities are scheduled and we arrange transport for them there and back. Normal now, but my mum couldn't drive when I was my kids age and my dad had the car most of the time. We had to be independent.

Ryan had his first football (soccer) game today. He is playing for his school and we got him new boots and stuff, which he is very proud of. Football at that age is played a little like Aussie Rules Football with all the little kids running in groups wherever the ball is. Eighteen kids around the ball was quite normal. The windy and rainy weather brought back great memories of the freezing windy and wet days that I spent freezing playing for Largoward. We used to have to get up by ourselves, cycle at least part of the way there and back by ourselves regardless of the weather and deal with some very competitive team mates who didn't take too kindly to my wimpy play. Ryan on the other hand can expect to have his bag packed, schedule arranged, chauffeured to the game, snacks provided, encouragement offered and warm clothes provided on cold and wet days and his strip washed. Not complaining, just very different.

I hope he looks back on this stage of his life and doesn't feel that we controlled him too much. It's a tough one as the first commenter on the linked article notes. Every parents worst nightmare. How much should we cotton wool our kids?

Ryan's Australian cousins are being fast tracked for the Premier League by their over enthusiastic father. His game plan is to pay off the mortgage with their first contract, I think. I am just not that competitive and if any father thinks that they can run the sideline and coach a seven year old, they are mad. Just watch where the ball is, with its magnetic attraction and that is where the kids will be. The chances of positioning your child ready for a breakaway pass by yelling at them is reasonably good if you have a loud voice. The chance of the ball coming to them is about as low as winning the lottery.

All good fun all the same.

Tree Climbing

When I was growing up, we used to love climbing trees around our house. I grew up in the country, so there are lots of them. My dad built us a tree house, which was well used for many years. In our new house, we have no trees in the garden, so we have had to search around for good ones. We found a couple in our local park and the kids have had some great monkey sessions.