Photo Hunt: Sad

Although Spotty is a very happy and contented dog, some of the things that we do to him make him sad. He is very patient and waits until the photographs are taken with his doleful face. He is most sad when we leave for the day and puts on his mopey face and pulls in his tail and sulks behind the gate. When we come back he leaps up and down behind the gate wagging his tale furiously. He has obviously forgiven us for our earlier fashion transgressions. 

photohunt

New Dog in the House

Imagine nominating your dog for an ugly dog competition. Even I think that is cruel. Gus with three legs and one eye, pictured here, ran (limped?) off with the title.

That said, I hasten to guess that your dog is not as ugly as these guys.

I got on to this because our neighbour had to go to hospital at short notice, so we have his little hairy thing for a week. Rufus spent most of yesterday annoying Spotty, trying to sniff his goolies. He is over that after the ever patient Spotty snapped at him a few times. I gave him a bath this morning and then he decided to chase the rabbits (Spotty ignores them). He was very busy under our deck for about half an hour. When he came out I had to give him a bath again. This afternoon he tried to escape and I had to chase him down the street. He was very keen to escape.

Anyway, I think one dog is enough and at least he is quiet and friendly.

Animal Humour

DOG FOR SALE


A guy is driving around the back woods of Southern Scotland when he sees a sign in front of a rather bedraggled looking farmhouse: 'Talking Dog For Sale.'
He drives on a bit until curiosity finally gets the better of him and he returns to the farmhouse. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
"Do you talk?” he asks.
“Yep,” the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says “So, what’s your story?”
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was just a pup. I thought I could put my talent to good use by working for the government, so I made contact with military intelligence. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country working for MI6, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. Every time my guy left to use the facilities, I'd be picking up the juicy stuff they didn't want him to hear. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Glasgow Airport to do some undercover work with the Customs officers, standing 20-30 feet away from the desk and picking up all sorts of revealing information. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. After a while, even that became a bit tiring so I chucked it in, got married, had a load of puppies, and now I'm just retired.”
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
“Ten pounds,” the guy says.
“A tenner? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?”



“Because he's a fucking liar. He never did any of that shit.”

And his relative, the duck.

A Duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of bitter and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, 'But you're a duck'.

'I see your eyes are working', replies the duck.

'And you talk!' exclaims the barman.

'I see your ears are working', says the duck, 'Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?'

'Certainly', says the barman, 'sorry about that, it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?'

'I'm working on the building site across the road', explains the duck.

Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.

The Ringmaster of the circus comes into the pub and the barman says to him, 'You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!'.

'Sounds marvelous', says the ringmaster, 'get him to give me a call'.

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, 'Hey Mr.Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!'

'Yeah?' says the duck, 'Sounds great, where is it?'

'At the circus', says the barman.

'The circus?' the duck enquires.

'That's right', replies the barman.

'The circus?' the duck asks again.

'Yes' says the barman

'That place with the big tent?' the duck enquires.

'Yeah' the barman replies.

'With all the animals?' the duck questioned.

'Of Course' the barman replies.

'With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle', asks the duck.

'That's right!' says the barman.

The duck looks confused.

'What the f * ck would they want with a plasterer?'

Indian Man Marries Dog to Atone

A man in southern India married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony as an attempt to atone for stoning two other dogs to death — an act he believes cursed him — a newspaper reported Tuesday.

P. Selvakumar married the sari-draped former stray named Selvi, chosen by family members and then bathed and clothed for the ceremony Sunday at a Hindu temple in the southern state of Tamil Nadu, the Hindustan Times newspaper said.

Some stories require no comment.

Pampering Pooches Overkill

Maybe it should be Pampered Pooches Will be Killed based on this photograph from a zoo in Japan. I think that this is cruel and unusual punishment for this dog. Imagine having to breast feed a tiger, a creature that would probably like to have you for lunch later in life.



Crushed by Ingsoc likes dogs. I do too. Just not this much. Dogs are just animals and the thought of pampering them too much makes my skin crawl. Pampering should be for humans, especially me. Each as they please however, I suppose.

Spotty, our annoying but friendly canine companion is exposed to a wide variety of foods, including raw carrots, which he steals from the rabbits, duck food, chicken food and his least favourite, commercially produced dog food. He is regularly exercised by running around like a mad thing when we come home and chasing other canines up the fence as they walk past. He exercises his vocal cords through ferocious barking at any potential intruders. He then practices his feel the love techniques if anyone braves the wall of sound to come in. He has grown to tolerate the horror of his bi-weekly bath. In the early days he hated it and ran away. Not quite as much as the cat, who felt that his feline essence was being violated by the mere vicinity of water.

As one concession to my wife, I do take responsibility for picking up after him. We are a bit cruel and make him sleep outside in his kennel, which is his daily complaint, as he slinks out late at night, especially in winter. We got tired of unexpected puddles and the like. One of his favourite spots was the shower, which was definitely not a good start to the day for my morning averse partner. His luxury is getting up on the couch on winters evenings and the occasional face lick under sufferance. The sacrifices owners must make.

Today is the Million Paws Walk for the RSPCA, where large numbers of fellow dog owners go and hang out together at parks all over Australia. I think that is cruel and unusual punishment to put so many dogs together at one location. They will all have to be on leads, which always get in the way of dogs trying to sniff each others bums and think of all those poops. I think that we will just take Spotty to the beach instead, where he loves to run along the shoreline. For a dog who hates water, he loves the sea.

Roaming Rabbit Alert

Public Notice
Wanted for Violating Terms of Probation, speeding and the theft of neighbourhood grass.
Grey Rabbit aka Daisy the Rabbit

The public, particularly those in the Kilkenny Area are warned to guard their lawns and young vegetables against a rabbit which has escaped from household detention and disappeared into the neighbourhood.

On no account are the public to approach the animal, which is considered very loveable and missed by her custodial guardians.

The public are asked to provide information on sightings directly to this blog.

Thank you in advance on behalf of Hannah and Ben the Brown Rabbit, who likes to hang out in the garden.

This will likely get a better coverage than neighbourhood posters, which I am sure we will be making in the next few days when Hannah realises that Daisy has gone. Losing animals is extremely stressful as a parent. Hannah is the worlds number 1 animal lovers (I am sure that there are others just like her, but I only know her).

When Spotty went missing one day, Hannah completely lost it. She was beside herself with worry. It was very unusual, because he never left the house by himself and found his way back from the park, the first time we went there and he was chased by a huge dog.

We made posters and put them up, we called the Animal Shelter, called the Council, looked around the neighbourhood, the house, the yard...everything that I could think of. About an hour later, I went to get something from the car and there was Spotty fast asleep. He had not managed to make it out of the car after our trip to the supermarket. Palpable sighs of relief from me and utter joy from Hannah.

When we went on holiday last year, Spotty went to stay with my friend Rod, who lived about two kilometres away in a different neighbourhood. We got a call from the house sitter one evening, that Spotty had turned up. She was in the living room and heard scratching on the window. She went out to look and there was Spotty. He had jumped the fence at the other house and come home. Cute, but annoying. Clever Boy.

I hope Daisy comes back, but the adults in the house are not holding their breath.

Update Daisy turned up this morning and we managed to catch her. Very happy Hannah. Thanks to the blogging community for assisting in this matter.

Spotty the Rabbit

Our dog, Spotty is sure he is whichever animals that we have to keep him company. Currently he is a rabbit. He has in previous lives been a chicken and a duck.

From an owners perspective, he doesn't run away when approached to be caught as I have experienced with our chickens and ducks and our rabbits, who I was chasing around the garden this morning at 6am. They decided to dig out overnight. Freedom. I got up and they were having a lovely time prancing around the garden feasting on whatever takes their fancy.

So in tribute to Spotty, the only moderately annoying dog. If I ever complain about him, I will think of this. Our cat was run over when very young, so I can't really comment on cats. It was still a kitten, which is an entirely different animal.

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00am Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30am A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40am Walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00pm Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00pm Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00pm Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00pm Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favourite thing!
11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."

I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.

I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.

The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.......for now....

Where's Fido?

and Fido and and Fido and Fido and Fido....?