My Political Ambitions Go Nowhere

From our Scottish Correspondent, Big Rab

Bad luck on your result in the Glasgow North East by election Colin. I'm sure with a bit of effort we could have got you more than 13 votes!

Charlie Baillie - British National Party - 1,013 votes (4.92%)

William Bain - Labour - 12,231 (59.39%)

Eileen Baxendale - Liberal Democrats - 474 (2.30%)

Mev Brown - Independent - 32 (0.16%)

Colin Campbell - The Individuals Labour and Tory (Tilt) - 13 (0.06%)

Ruth Davidson - Conservatives - 1,075 (5.22%)

David Doherty - Scottish Greens - 332 (1.61%)

Mikey Hughes - Independent - 54 (0.26%)

David Kerr - SNP - 4,120 (20%)

Louise McDaid - Socialist Labour Party - 47 (0.23%)

Kevin McVey - Scottish Socialist Party - 152 (0.74%)

Tommy Sheridan - Solidarity - 794 (3.86%)

John Smeaton - Independent Backed by the Jury Team - 258 (1.25%)

Shock Horror as Republicans prepare Negative Ads

In a major campaign shift to counter dismal polling, Honest John McCain's Shit Kicker in Chiefs have ordered more cod liver oil for the voters stuck in their castles of negative equity and defaulting credit cards.

Senator McCain said he intended to press Senator Obama on a variety of familiar Republican themes during this week's debate, accusing the Democrat once again of getting ready to raise taxes and increase government spending.

What was that mercy flight to Washington about again?
What was that jaunt to the Middle East all about again?

Ha Ha Ha

How stupid do they think swing voters are?

No Billary Please

If Billary is elected next year, a Bush or Clinton Family Member will have been President for almost a quarter of a Century.

The all have endearing legacies.

The Elder Bush made war in Iraq
Billary the First made love in the Oval Office
The Younger Bush made war in Iraq
What would Billary II get up to?

Barmy Harmy Goes Quiet

If the first ball of the Ashes is anything to go by, us "Poms" ie non Australians will have to be hopeful. On the backfoot after one ball is a bit sad. Maybe England could use some of these techniques. At least it is funny. Apparently the impact of the Barmy Army is muted at the Gabba because the English fans are spread throughout the ground.