The Joys of Scottish Weather

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This awaits all of us

via telegraph.co.uk

Posted via email from poobumwee's posterous

Psychedelic Honda Ad with Accidental Penises

via accidentalpenis.com

Posted via email from poobumwee's posterous

Photo Hunt: Funny

I met this lady on King William Street in Adelaide. She was promoting a race meeting with some other people dressed rather like her. She took a break and went shopping and I followed her in so that I could get a shot.
All they needed to do was to get rid of the front legs and she could be a kangaroo. Good Sport.

Photo Hunt: Unique Funny Signs

We got this one close to our house, where Hannah has a street named for her. There are so many funny signs on the internet, but this is unique for Hannah.


And this one is very contemporary. I just came across it, and thought it was funny.

photohunt

Try this one on the next unwanted telemarketer

Recognise Yourself?

Hopefully Not!

Thanks The Mish Mash

Those pesky low clearance bridges

This story reminded me of some of the odd stuff and chaos of my trips to India for work.

From the BBC

Residents of the Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay) are wondering how long it will take to remove a disused Boeing 737 that has been abandoned in a busy road.

The decommissioned aircraft was being driven through the city at the weekend when the driver got lost and then abandoned the plane. The Boeing used to belong to the private company Air Sahara. Some locals are angry that no action is being taken to move the plane. Others say it is a tourist attraction.

It appears that after taking a wrong turn, the driver found himself facing a flyover that was too low for him to take the plane under.

The driver has not been seen since and no-one is assuming responsibility for the 737.

My client works for Rex Andrews here in Adelaide and they seem to do a good job of getting big stuff, like bridge spans, locomotives, wind turbines and the like to the job on time. Maybe there is a business for them in India.

This is a picture of one of their jobs where they had to take the prefabricated parts of wind turbines, shipped from Europe from Port Adelaide to site in Northern Victoria. This is the Main Street in Mount Gambier, one of the large towns in South Australia. I am still trying to work out how you get around the round about.

Update: I talked to the drivers yesterday as they waited for a bridge span, at the concrete factory in our neighbourhood. Apparently for the longer loads like the propellers, the rear steering is controlled from in the cab. The other, shorter ones, are controlled by a guy, who stands at the back and helps with those pesky turns. I told them about the Indian story and they thought that was unlikely to happen here in Australia, but that they had been in some difficult spots.

Mathew Hoggard to Play for Scotland in Twenty20 World Championship

Matthew Hoggard has made himself available for a jolly in South Africa later in the year. Having been dumped from the English Team for the short form of the game, Hoggard fancies the chance for some heavy drinking and the new look all tartan uniform after finding he was actually born in Scotland.

Source Yorkshire County Cricket Club Official Website.

Note: This actually made it on to Google News Australia. Never trust the MSM.

Scotland to Raise Bar on Mathematics Testing

SCOTTISH MODERN MATHEMATICS PAPER 2007
DRAFT HIGHER GRADE MODERN MATHEMATICS PAPER 2007
HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

GLASGOW REGION

Name..................Nickname.........................Gangname........................

1. Shuggie has bought half a kilo of cocaine to sell. He wants to make 300% on the deal and still pay Mad Malky his 10% protection money. How much must he charge for a gram?

2. Wee Davie reckons he'll get £42.50 extra Marriage Allowance a week if he ties the knot with Fat Alice. Even if he steals the ring, the wedding will cost him £587. And he'll have to start buying two fish suppers at £3.95 each every night instead of one. How long will it be before Davie wishes he'd stayed single?

3. When Rangers play Celtic, their fans sing The Sash every 10minutes when they're winning and every 15 minutes when they're losing.How many times did they sing it at last season's Cup Final?

4. Joey and Davie stole a 1999 green Toyota 1600GL with 35,000on the clock - and got a grand for it. How much more would they have got if it had been metallic silver, done 29,000 miles and had low profile tyres?

5. Jake the Flake and Fingers got grassed up for dealing speed.The Flake got 18 months but Fingers got 3 years. How many more previous convictions did Fingers have?

EXTRA CREDIT: Who was Fingers' Brief?

EDINBURGH / BORDERS REGION

Name...................Rugby Club.........................Daddy's Company.........................

1. Gavin has a spare ticket for Julian Clary at The Festival Fringe. But Benji and Adrian BOTH want to go with him. How long does he cry before giving them the tickets?

2. Half of Peter's friends say that they went to school with Ewan McGregor. Another third say they were Gordon Brown's flat mate at University. A sixth say that their dad played rugby with Tony Blair's dad and the rest say Sean Connery was their milkman. Only one is telling the truth, so how many friends does Peter have?

3. Todd wants to be a lawyer, but is as thick as EdinburghCastle. His daddy is a Freemason and a QC. How long before Todd becomes the Lord Advocate?

4. Tamsin's Personal Trainer charges £250 a week, but has sexwith her whenever she wants it. Jasmin's Life Coach charges £50 a weekbut has refused all sexual advances. Which one of the women weighs 19 stone?

5. Princes Street is 2467 yards long. On average, there issomeone begging for money every 195 yards. You walk at 3.1 miles an hour. How long will it take if you tell them all to sod off and work for a living?

HIGHLANDS REGION

Name................Glen.......................Clan .......................

1. After Hector's death, Archie has to pay Death Duty on Glenbogle. With 25,000 acres, Archie must pay £1.76 for the first 15,000acres and 90p per acre for the remainder, including VAT. How How many people actually give a toss?

2. An Afro-American called Zachary Obisanjo Kokobobo asks aTartan Shop in Inverness if he has any Scottish Geneaology. How long does it take to flog him full Highland dress and matching kilts for his wife and 10 kids?

3. If an Aberdeen supporter laid every sheep in Grampian Region end to end, how many people would be surprised?

4. If you caught a Loch Ness Monster 115 feet long and each foot weighed 27lbs, how much money would you make by selling your exclusive story and pictures?

Sorry, question 5 has been delayed by heavy snowfall and will be here as soon as the Cockbridge - Tomintoul road re-opens in the spring!

Where's Fido?

and Fido and and Fido and Fido and Fido....?