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Saturday, March 19, 2011

Cannibals Seeking Same: A Visit To The Online World Of Flesh-Eaters | The Awl

While it was shut down with a Denial of Service attack by the German authorities in late 2002, the website for the Cannibal Café can still be viewed online thanks to the Wayback Machine. Nine years is an eternity when it comes to the Internet and, suspended there in history, the website is a time capsule of early website-design features and flourishes, down to a .gif of dripping blood and the flashing "WARNING" sign. Its forum messages also carry the whiff of a different era; written at a time when people, unaware and unafraid of consequences, were more open with their identities online.

On the Café's forums were men looking for men, men looking for women (the ideal: short, buxom, thin redheads) and women looking for men—very few posts, if any, were for women looking for women. There were people who wanted to be eaten and people who wanted to do the eating. There were stories, artwork and users seeking advice on the best to way to cook someone. “I am ready!” announced that the poster was prepared for slaughter. Entire threads were devoted to “human meat for sale fresh frozen.” Email addresses were freely exchanged, with posters using handles like “Pigslut” and “Masochist Mr. Waye.”

Here is how one notable, but still typical, conversation at the Café ran. The creatively titled “your next meal” wrote, “if anyone wants to eat an 18 yr old gorgeous male by any means you wish, then just tell me how you would feel whilst devouring my horny flesh into ur belly and i will reply to you so we can discuss real arrangements, please eat me!” A few hours later, a response: “Hi, i am Franky from Germany, i will eat you,” followed by an e-mail address.

Perro Loco started the Cannibal Café in 1994—and when, in 2002, one of its posters, that same "Franky from Germany," was arrested for killing and eating another man, the Cannibal Café was shut down.

"Perro Loco" is a pseudonym, of course, one Loco uses for all of his online activity. I spoke to him over the phone last week from his home in California. He described himself as an "average looking guy" who is "well spoken and fairly well educated." Now semi-retired, he worked for many years as an EMT before going to work at a fly-fishing store. On the phone, he speaks slowly and with confidence. Given his history I expected some measure of paranoia, but found little. Although he tries to keep a private lifestyle, anyone wishing to know him will face no difficulties, which is why it wasn’t hard for me to contact him.

Even before the notoriety the Meiwes-Jürgen case brought him, Loco already enjoyed some celebrity in certain corners of the Internet. In the '90s, he began to post the work of Dolcett, the mysterious artists famous for his depictions of bondage, torture and cannibalism. Today Loco refers to himself as "the Mayor of Dolcett" and claims he was "the first person to scan any Dolcett stuff." Dolcett's work grew more popular and, when Loco asked for no financial compensation, the artist was so pleased he gave Loco full permission to post his material online and even the rights to make money on it. Loco asserts that he was “probably the guy who popularized the whole concept of Dolcett-ism… as I used to say at the time, at the One Holy Church of Dolcett, I was the One True Prophet.”

But Loco's online celebrity would really spread in December 2002, when Armin Meiwes was arrested for eating a man named Bernd Jürgen Brandes.

When Meiwes Met Brandes
This is what happened: A little over ten years ago, on March 9, 2001, 39-year-old Meiwes, a computer technician living in the German village of Wüstefeld, brought home, had sex with and killed 44-year-old Brandes, a Berlin man who lived about 250 miles away. Meiwes then ate 44 pounds of his flesh over a period of ten months. While that may sound like murder, there’s something else that should be mentioned: Brandes wanted it all to happen.

Meiwes and Brandes first communicated in February 2001, when the soon-to-be cannibal responded to Brandes’ online ad looking for someone to eat him alive—“no slaughter, but eating.” Soon they were sending daily emails to one another describing explicitly what would happen when they met. Brandes, writing as “Cator,” wrote to Meiwes, a.k.a. “Antrophagus,” on Feb. 5, saying, “I hope you’re really serious about it, because I really want it and have already met enough cyber-cannibals.”

Meiwes was serious: After turning on a video camera to record the entire process, he cut off Brandes’ penis around 6:30 p.m. If the scene hadn’t been so horrific, it could have been something out of a Three Stooges short. Meiwes’ first attempt at castration didn’t work, so he went to find a bigger knife, which did the job. Brandes, who had taken cold medicine and sleeping pills to lessen the pain, picked up half of his severed penis and attempted to bite into it, a fantasy of his for years. It didn’t work because the meat was too thick, so Meiwes boiled the halves and seasoned them with salt, pepper and garlic.

At 8 p.m., Meiwes ran a bath at Brandes’ request so that his guest could pass away peacefully as the blood drained out of his body. Brandes fell asleep in the tub as Meiwes sat in another room reading a Star Trek novel. A couple hours later, he called out for Meiwes, climbed out of the tub, and collapsed. Meiwes supported him to the bedroom. He lived a few more hours. Then, at 3:30 am, he attempted to rise out of bed and again collapsed. It was his last physical action; his whispered last words were "I have to piss.”

Forty-five minutes later, Meiwes began the dismemberment of Brandes' body. He slashed the throat, then hung the body from a hook. As he removed pieces of flesh, he would address Brandes’ corpse, saying things like, “Shall I cut you in half, my darling?” He seasoned a piece of Brandes’ back with salt, pepper, garlic, rosemary and green pepper sauce (later he would state that the meat tasted like pork). He would continue to eat Brandes’ flesh until his December arrest.

In January 2004, Meiwes was found guilty of manslaughter and sentenced to over eight years in prison. The sentence caused an uproar. Some thought Meiwes should only have been sentenced to five years, the maximum sentence for Killing on Request. Others thought he should be put away for life. The latter group was victorious. After a second trial, in May 2006, Armin Meiwes was convicted of murder and sentenced to a life in prison. He now resides at the Kassel Penitentiary.

What does this have to do with Perro Loco? He was the source many news organizations, including the UK’s ITV, went to for information, even though he and Meiwes had never spoken or met. Although it’s widely been reported that Meiwes and Brandes first “met” one another via the Café, that’s not true; they met in a separate newsgroup. But because Miewes posted as "franky" at the Café that was enough of a connection. His last post was September 17, 2002, a few months prior to his arrest.

I asked Loco if he felt any guilt about everything that happened. He said, “No. I was, quite frankly, not surprised, though. He is no different than so many other people, but at least he has a sense, to some degree, of social responsibility.”

He’s referring to the fact that everything that happened between Meiwes and Brandes was entirely consensual ("consensual" is one of Loco’s favorite words). He elaborated: “Everything he did, he did completely consensually. It’s not like the guy was a fucking serial killer. He didn’t sit there and invite Jürgen over for dinner and sneak up behind him. They discussed it; Jürgen wanted to be killed and eaten. To me, that’s assisted suicide at worst.”

The Brandes-Meiwes case was not the first time Loco was implicated in a case involving one stranger agreeing to kill another. In 1996, 35-year-old Sharon Lopatka searched on the Internet for a man who would torture, strangle and kill her. She found Robert Frederick. The two met at Frederick’s house in North Carolina and enacted the agreed-upon scenario: Lopatka was sexually tortured, strangled and buried in Frederick’s backyard, only three feet below the ground. Needless to say, police found the body and Frederick was sentenced to jail. Two weeks before his release, Frederick died in prison of a heart attack. Loco, who was investigated as a material witness in the case, knew both Lopatka and Frederick and considered them both "very nice people."

Loco now spends about four hours a day on the boards, down from the twelve of his earlier days. He makes very little money from his work online. In return he's been questioned by organizations ranging from the FBI to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, so it’s natural to wonder why he does it. He said, “To a great degree, it’s because I’m a proselytizer. It’s fun. But it used to be more fun. I’m getting older, and I’d just as soon assume close up shop sometimes.”

The eHow Of Cannibalism
His current website, Dolcett Girls, is dedicated to “covering a full range of graphic sexual fantasy." The site, which has been around since August 2003, has over 40,000 members, is split evenly between males and females (Loco tells me that for “every 1.1 males, there’s 1 female”). It gets over a million hits every month. The forum viewers include “at least one U.S. congressman,” as well as politically connected family members, and the average user age is somewhere in the 40s.

As with the Cannibal Café, Dolcett Girls only has two rules: no spam and nothing featuring underage kids. But it's more rooted in fantasy than the Café was. The interest is less directly transactional (i.e., trying to find someone to cook and eat); instead the site seems more a place for people to discuss and fantasize about their kinks and fetishes—as well as drop frequent references to Ke$ha’s “Cannibal."

And someday Dolcett Girls will be as much a time capsule of 2011 Internet culture as the Cannibal Café is of 2002. Recent forum topics include:

• Cooking temperatures: “I like a low heat around 250 degree for a long slow cook. I start the out with the meat being tied to the grill alive and kicking. After the meat pass I remover her from the heat and gut her, and then back to the grill for several more hours after about a 10 to 12 hour cook the meat just fall off the bone. I shred the meat and mix it with BBQ and red pepper flakes very tasty.”

• Celebrities: “[Miley Cyrus] needs to be hung upside down from a meathook, have her throat slit, and be sliced into chunks of meat. It's not like she has a remarkable music career or anything."

• Pregnancy announcements with the requisite belly photos

• Lots of fan fiction: “Angeline reached one hand down her pants and stroked herself with a rising passion as she suckled on the redhead's ample bosom…”

• Fake CNN stories: “Dolcett Girl Who Fled Is Caught in Mexico”

• Yahoo! Answers-type advice-seeking: "How one would dispose of a head?"

That last question was posed by “tinylittlefeet," and the responses run the gamut. Some responders make light of the situation (“roadrunner50” Photoshopped “tiny”’s head into a picture of the cast of Futurama), while others are chilling in their specificity. One user responds: “First, I would prefer to remove you head from your body myself. For this I would have you place your neck on a block and with a hard swift chop with a sharpened machete, your head would be severed from your body…” It goes on from there.

Photoshop is another favorite activity. The thread, “Cannibalistic/Snuff captions and manipulations” shows a twisted form of something you might find on 4chan. Over a photo that the poster himself probably took, there are usually one or more nude ladies and then box lettering over the whole that says something like, “Forget spinach, eat man flesh!” One photo reads: “A cannibal usually eats one a week. That means roughly 50 people a year. The average cannibal stays active for about 40 years before switching to food normal people eat too at old age.”

Making Money & Other Challenges Of Internet Entrepreneurship
Dolcett Girls (also known as DGF) was originally set up to be a subscription-based commercial website operating out of Toronto. But after three lucrative months, a credit company clearance “cut us off at the knees,” said Loco. He added that the company that cut ties with them is “the same company that processes every kiddy porn site on the planet. We’re probably the only fetish group that the kiddy porn people look down on. I guess because they’re afraid we’re going to have kiddy snuff porn.”

The site runs now on donations, sent not through PayPal but by “snail mail.” The money takes longer to process, but the system bypasses outside interference. DGF also has “incredibly good security software… written by one of the best coders in the United States.” Makes sense when you consider the site’s under constant monitoring by the FBI, which is also why users, if they’re interested in a face-to-face meet-up, will use the forum’s personal messaging system to communicate, rather than publicly posting, “Hey, who wants to eat me?”

(Even then, the number of face-to-face interactions is small, according to Loco. “Out of every hundred women who come into DGF, there will be one who might actually extend herself to meeting with another human face to face for the specific purpose of beginning a 'Dolcett’-ish relationship. For every 1,000 of those people, there might be one who’d go all the way.”)

Loco maintains that if he saw something that he thought worth mentioning he would report it to authorities. I ask for an example. He said: “Let’s suppose I got a personal message from someone who I believe is fairly serious about the whole Dolcett thing, and this person told me that he was going to go to hang out at an elementary school and kidnap a couple of the girls who are students there.” He’d report that. But “if, on the other hand, he were to say, ‘Look, I was talking to this girl’s mom and she’s got a daughter who’s eight years old. If Mom and I get together and I take her down to Mexico and we do the deed, what do you think I should do about the kids?’ I wouldn’t report that.”

The distinction, again, comes down to consent. “Consenting adults should be able to do whatever the hell they want to, up to and including killing each other," Loco said. "If they don’t consent to it, then it’s murder and not good. I have issues when it comes to consent.” Clearly, Loco is a big proponent of First Amendment—a really big proponent.

He tells me a story about a man in Ontario who made his living by producing “very well faked” snuff videos, complete with air-soft pistols, blood squibs and believable special effects. “Some local constable who was a member of a fundamentalist church got wind of what he was he was doing and made it a crusade to shut this guy down. He was buddies with the local attorney, and they arrested him, confiscated all his stuff, and put him in jail without bail. He ended up going to trial and he won, but in Canada, the Crown can appeal and the Crown attorney belonged to the same church as the constable. They kept appealing the lack of conviction. This guy was tried three times and basically impoverished by his legal bills. Had somebody pulled that with me and jeopardized my entire financial career and caused my wife and kids to leave me because I couldn’t support them anymore, I would have tracked these motherfuckers down and shot them – for real. No air soft guns. I would have come to their house, I would have tied them up in a chair, I would have killed their entire families in front of them, and then I would have killed them. You wreck my life, I’m going to wreck yours. I’m a person of extremes that way.” After a few seconds of silence, he adds, “Now, I wouldn’t have killed the family dog, by the way, because I have a soft spot for pets… but I would have no problem killing their five-year-old kids.”

When I question the extremity of such a statement, Loco responded, “Sure, it’s a little extreme, but I don’t have any moral problems about it. Millions of people every day die. Hundreds of thousands of small children die of starvation every day. Personally, I think killing some folks is beneficial to society. But I’m not going to go out there and do it. It’s easy for me to talk. But my own personal moral feelings about it, I don’t have any. It’s for the same reason I don’t have any moral objections to what Armin did.”

Today, most DGF members don't seem interested in doing what Armin Meiwes did, only in talking about it. In September 2004, Loco began a thread called “Would You? Really?” that now has 1,484 replies and over 91,000 views. In it, he posed the hypothetical question: “If presented with an opportunity to Eat a Female in a ‘Dolcett-ish’ fantasy fulfillment…would you?” The response of "t'Sade" is typical: “In the end, I think I would probably avoid it in real life. Nice to think about, wonderful to see animated or made into a movie, but I've seen enough blood and other really nasty things in my life (some of them done to me) that I really don't want to feel the rest of that blade.

He added, “Won't stop me from writing about it, though.”

There are exceptions. One user recently posted a new thread to tell everyone that he’s ready to meet up with someone who’d be interested in cannibalizing him. When I contacted him by email, the 26 year old responded: “I have played before at being dressed up as meat ready for the oven. I have had women and men do this, although I am straight but as meat I don’t mind who eats me as it’s not really sexual.” He says the desire has been with him since he was a “very small boy,” and that he used to “dream about [being] barbequed or sold to the butcher.”

I asked, how would you go through with it? He wrote back: “Now that’s quite a question, LOL. Well, what I would like is to be collected and tied up in back of van or car and taken to the home or, even better, their farm. Then, when there, shaved and cleaned and maybe kept for a bit in a pen or cage so they can fatten me up if they want, etc. I don’t really mind how I am processed. Maybe spit roasted or just hung up and butchered. I would like my genitals removed first or eaten off me…”

We might recoil from this guy's fantasy, but keep in mind, he hasn't actually done anything wrong (and probably won't). Like Armin Meiwes, he’s not a killer, pedophile, rapist or any other kind of criminal that preys on the non-consenting. He's someone with a kink and the only way he knows how to fulfill it is by, well, being eaten. In a way I almost feel sorry for him—I can't imagine it's easy to find someone to satisfy that lust. But the Internet has surely made that easier, which brings up the question: How did would-be cannibals arrange meetings in the 1980s? (Probably on giant cell phones.) Of course the case can be made that the Internet is encouraging potential cannibals by giving them a safe place to plan their misdeeds, but would you rather have a set-up meeting between two consenting adults—or bring someone new home from the bar and have him wait till he was in your living room to ask, “Would you mind if I bit your dick off?”

Josh Kurp will never listen to the Dirty Projectors’ “Cannibal Resource” the same way again.

Image taken from 1918 edition of Gray's Anatomy, via Wikimedia Commons.

On the Café's forums were men looking for men, men looking for women (the ideal: short, buxom, thin redheads) and women looking for men—very few posts, if any, were for women looking for women. There were people who wanted to be eaten and people who wanted to do the eating. There were stories, artwork and users seeking advice on the best to way to cook someone. “I am ready!” announced that the poster was prepared for slaughter. Entire threads were devoted to “human meat for sale fresh frozen.” Email addresses were freely exchanged, with posters using handles like “Pigslut” and “Masochist Mr. Waye.”

Here is how one notable, but still typical, conversation at the Café ran. The creatively titled “your next meal” wrote, “if anyone wants to eat an 18 yr old gorgeous male by any means you wish, then just tell me how you would feel whilst devouring my horny flesh into ur belly and i will reply to you so we can discuss real arrangements, please eat me!” A few hours later, a response: “Hi, i am Franky from Germany, i will eat you,” followed by an e-mail address.

Perro Loco started the Cannibal Café in 1994—and when, in 2002, one of its posters, that same "Franky from Germany," was arrested for killing and eating another man, the Cannibal Café was shut down.

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Photo Hunt: Number Plate



This is the traditional number plate in South Australia.

French court bans condoms from Condom

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A French court has banned a company set up by a descendant of King Louis XIV from selling luxury condoms described as from the southwestern town of Condom, the town's lawyer said on Wednesday. The court in the nearby city of Bordeaux banned "the continued sale of condoms under the brand 'The Original Condom from Condom, France,'" said Caroline Lampre, lawyer for the picturesque town of 7,500.

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Friday, March 18, 2011

Nothing To Do With Arbroath: Teenager's acne spells out arse

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Spotty teenager Sam Cummings has been nicknamed Craphead Slaphead because his acne spells out the word A-R-S-E.

The unfortunate 16-year-old, from Berkshire, says he has suffered from the spotty skin condition for years and has always had to put up with remarks about his blemishes from cruel classmates.

But things took a turn for the worse for the Titherton Secondary schoolboy when he woke up one morning last week and found his out of control zits had merged - and formed the word arse.

Needs to stop eating Haggis Pudding Suppers I think.

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Fill that news cycle with paranoia | Voltage Gate

Wring your hands, America.

At first, the disaster coverage was somber, straightforward. The major news outlets broadcast raw video, fly-over footage of the humbling scale of the swell of seawater over communities and farmland, over cars, houses and fleeing citizens. Narrators were truly affected. You could hear it in their voice. There was this terrified awe in the scant words that could be found to describe one of the few events that can reduce all our industrial might to insignificance in a matter of hours.

Then, a few days later, the scurrying begins.

Inevitably. the media is trying to diversify the coverage of the disaster in Japan to fill the 24 hour news cycle. This is where it starts to get really bad.

Journalists begin the search for new ways to describe the situation. They start applying inane metaphors. The very real, very frightening struggle is put into fantastic terms. Japanese engineers are battling fire-breathing dragons and vicious sea monsters, the implication being that these figments are somehow aptly descriptive of a deadly encounter beyond the norm. More descriptive, perhaps, than the horror of the situation itself: the decimation of large coastal communities by earthquake and tsunami and now the potential of a meltdown caused by the latter, the fallout from which could be spread across thousands of kilometers. These workers have signed their lives away to attempt to avert this tertiary catastrophe and sacrifice their own health to preserve that of others, and somehow, this real act of heroic dedication becomes an appurtenance to a trite metaphor.

Largely, the focus has shifted from the aftermath in Japan to how it affects us, in this country. We’re in a panic about the radiation invading the US with any potency. Anti-nuclear politicians take the cue to dust off the old soapbox and pump their fists in anger. The sanctioned paranoia drives us to care, to question our own safety. While watching Henry Waxman blather on insincerely about nuclear safety I imagined every nuclear engineer in the country scrambling to book a two week vacation while the politicians pitch a new tent in the ongoing self-serving moralistic circus of opportunity.

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The best assessment of the Japanese Apocalypse I have read to date. American perspective, but globally relevant. How about just withdrawing the journalists and donating money?

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Cultural Snow: Sous les pavés, le plagiat

Sous les pavés, le plagiat

British universities are riddled with plagiarism and cheating, it seems, although the poor, anonymous grunts using iPods as crib sheets could argue that they’re only taking tips from German aristocrats and the spawn of Arab tyrants.

At least in academia there are clear rules as to what constitutes plagiarism – the only problem is catching the buggers doing it. In what purports to be the real world, definitions are rather more blurred. Michel Houellebecq admitted to lifting big chunks of his most recent novel from Wikipedia, but invoked Perec and Borges as precedents, so that’s OK; the young German author Helene Hegemann said that her book Axolotl Roadkill did contain substantial elements from another text, but in any case, “there’s no such thing as originality anyway, just authenticity.” It wasn’t plagiarism, it was mixing, it was sampling; rather than calling on Borges, she was just taking tips from Berlin DJ culture. And everyone decided to let her off as well, because they wanted to be down wiv ver kids, like.

Journalism is stuck somewhere in the middle. Hacks aren’t expected to annotate every reference – indeed, they’re specifically permitted to remain tight-lipped about the identity of their sources – but at the same time they’re not really supposed to lift whole paragraphs from elsewhere and pass the action off as some sort of postmodern affectation. What is depressing is that it’s often done so badly, so artlessly, with no attempt to disguise the crime. Plagiarising journalists are often bad writers, so the stuff they’ve nicked is usually better written than their own work; and because they can’t write, they’re completely unaware of how easy it is to spot the lurch between styles.

But the real forehead/keyboard interface happens when they scoop something up from an online source – few are quite dumb enough to choose Wikipedia, but it does happen – and can’t be bothered to change the formatting, or remove the hyperlinks. I think we’ve reached a point where we can’t expect writers to have written the stuff they pass off as their work; but is it too much to ask that they might have read it?

PS: The title is a crap pun that’s been done several times before, but it’s in French, so that’s OK.

Labels: , ,

posted by Tim Footman at 8:46 AM

This seems the right post to cut and paste entirely.

That said, I claim no credit other than control c and control v

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It's A Fine Day by Jane And Barton

Beautiful and haunting all at the same time.

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Let's go and bomb some more sand?

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What a great diversion and a boost to the UK War Implements Society. Lots of sand to drop expensive pieces of technology on.

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Public Policy Polling: Palin trails Sheen with independents

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We've found a lot of brutal poll numbers for Sarah Palin so far in 2011: down in South Dakota, down in South Carolina, down in Arizona, only up by 1 point in Texas, only up by 1 point in Nebraska to name a few. But this has to be the worst- independent voters say they would support Charlie Sheen over Palin for President by a 41/36 margin. Seriously.
Despite her deficit with independents Palin does lead Sheen 49-29 overall. We also tested Barack Obama against Sheen and the President leads 57-24.
Sheen is one of the most unpopular figures we've ever polled on. 10% of Americans rate him favorably to 67% with a negative opinion of him. The only people we've ever found worse numbers for are Rod Blagojevich in Illinois (an 8/83 favorability spread), Jesse Jackson Jr. in Illinois (a 10/73 favorability), and Levi Johnston in Alaska (a 6/72 favorability). Sheen's -57 spread ties what we found for John Edwards in North Carolina the last time we polled him (15/72).
Sheen's unpopularity is pretty universal across party lines so it says something about the level of polarization in the country right now that Democrats would support him by a 44-24 margin for President over Palin and that Republicans would support him 37-28 over Obama. People may not have any respect for Sheen but they still think he'd be a better alternative than their opposing party's leading figure.
Obviously Charlie Sheen's not going to run for the White House but the Palin numbers are one of the more interesting benchmarks yet pointing to just how minuscule her chance at the Presidency would be even if she did decide to get into the race.

Guaranteed Success Job Interview Outfit

June Tabor-The Band Played Waltzing Matilida

Beautiful and still topical.

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Monday, March 14, 2011

Spotty takes off.


IMG_0151, originally uploaded by theclutterbells.

Adelaide Street Art

Lamp Post Tree


IMG_0071, originally uploaded by theclutterbells.

The Wizard of Oz in 60 seconds

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Famous Tay Whale



THE FAMOUS TAY WHALE
by William McGonagall

'TWAS in the month of December, and in the year 1883,
That a monster whale came to Dundee,
Resolved for a few days to sport and play,
And devour the small fishes in the silvery Tay.

So the monster whale did sport and play
Among the innocent little fishes in the beautiful Tay,
Until he was seen by some men one day,
And they resolved to catch him without delay.

When it came to be known a whale was seen in the Tay,
Some men began to talk and to say,
We must try and catch this monster of a whale,
So come on, brave boys, and never say fail.

Then the people together in crowds did run,
Resolved to capture the whale and to have some fun!
So small boats were launched on the silvery Tay,
While the monster of the deep did sport and play.

Oh! it was a most fearful and beautiful sight,
To see it lashing the water with its tail all its might,
And making the water ascend like a shower of hail,
With one lash of its ugly and mighty tail.

Then the water did descend on the men in the boats,
Which wet their trousers and also their coats;
But it only made them the more determined to catch the whale,
But the whale shook at them his tail.

Then the whale began to puff and to blow,
While the men and the boats after him did go,
Armed well with harpoons for the fray,
Which they fired at him without dismay.

And they laughed and grinned just like wild baboons,
While they fired at him their sharp harpoons:
But when struck with,the harpoons he dived below,
Which filled his pursuers' hearts with woe.

Because they guessed they had lost a prize,
Which caused the tears to well up in their eyes;
And in that their anticipations were only right,
Because he sped on to Stonehaven with all his might:

And was first seen by the crew of a Gourdon fishing boat
Which they thought was a big coble upturned afloat;
But when they drew near they saw it was a whale,
So they resolved to tow it ashore without fail.

So they got a rope from each boat tied round his tail,
And landed their burden at Stonehaven without fail;
And when the people saw it their voices they did raise,
Declaring that the brave fishermen deserved great praise.

And my opinion is that God sent the whale in time of need,
No matter what other people may think or what is their creed;
I know fishermen in general are often very poor,
And God in His goodness sent it drive poverty from their door.

So Mr John Wood has bought it for two hundred and twenty-six pound,
And has brought it to Dundee all safe and all sound;
Which measures 40 feet in length from the snout to the tail,
So I advise the people far and near to see it without fail.

Then hurrah! for the mighty monster whale,
Which has got 17 feet 4 inches from tip to tip of a tail!
Which can be seen for a sixpence or a shilling,
That is to say, if the people all are willing.

We are here to help?

Japan: earthquake aftermath - The Big Picture

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There is nothing to say.

A Newly Scanned French Map from 1546 shows Australia

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Desceliers got the outline of the Northern Territory of Australia down in surprising accuracy for the 16th century, particularly when you consider the first official recorded "glimpse" of the west coast of Australia by a European explorer didn't happen until 1606.

ABC News - Japan Earthquake: before and after


Sun Mar 13, 2011 3:00pm AEDT
Aerial photos taken over Japan have revealed the scale of devastation across dozens of suburb and tens of thousands of homes and businesses.
Hover over each satellite photo to view the devastation caused by the earthquake and tsunami.
Development: Andrew Kesper
Source: Google

Ice Ice Baby

Psychedelic Honda Ad with Accidental Penises

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Photo Hunt: Machines


A tower crain building the new Medical Research Facility in Adelaide. I got bored of blue skies, so just fiddled around a little.

Video of Tsunami hitting Sendai Airport

Flea powder may be saving lives in Japan after the Tsunami.

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I’m guessing the US Navy delivered a load of sodium polyborate from some nuclear aircraft carrier reactor supply room in the Pacific Fleet. Its use indicates that the nuclear threat is even worse than presently being portrayed in the news. Tokyo Electric Power Company has probably given-up any hope of keeping those cooling pumps on after the batteries fail. Eventually they’ll vent the now boron-laced coolant to the atmosphere to keep containment pressures under control.
Sodium polyborate, by the way, is something you might use around the house, since it is the active ingredient in most flea and tick treatments.
An earthquake with such loss of life is bad enough, but Japan has also just lost 20 percent of its electric generating capacity. And I’ll go out on a limb here and predict that none of those 11 reactors will re-enter service again, they’ve been so compromised.

"Gay Family Circle, March 1959" -05 | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

ABC The Drum - Behind every successful woman there's a wife

@mpesce History of Cults in Fife

Cults, a parish of central Fife, containing to the W the post-office village of Pitlessie, 4½ miles SW of Cupar and 2½ E of its station and post-town, Ladybank, this being 28¼ miles N by E of Edinburgh. Bounded N by Monimail and Cupar, E by Ceres, S by Kettle, and W by Kettle and Collessie, it has an utmost length from N to S of 2½ miles, a varying width from E to W of 9 furlongs and 25/8 miles, and an area of 2925 acres, of which 95 lie detached, and 1 is water. ...

The Eden winds 3 miles north-eastward along the Collessie and Cupar borders and through the interior; where it quits the parish in the furthest N, the surface sinks to close on 100 feet above sea-level, thence rising to 698 feet near Brotus in the SW and 622 at Walton Hill, which latter, however, culminates just within Ceres. The rocks are chiefly carboniferous; and sandstone and limestone are extensively worked, whilst coal was at one time mined. The soil, in the N, is a light brownish sand; in the centre, is chiefly a soft black loam; on the sides and tops of the hills, is a strong fertile clay. A fort on the western slope of Walton Hill is the only antiquity of Cults, whose greatest son was Scotland's greatest painter, Sir David Wilkie (1785-1841), born in the simple manse. His father was parish minister, and at the school here Davie is said to have liked best 'to lie agroufe on the grun wi' his slate and pencil,' at the church to have sketched the portraits for 'Pitlessie Fair' (1804) and the 'Village Politicians' (1806). Crawford Priory is the chief mansion, and the Earl of Glasgow is chief proprietor, 3 others holding each an annual value of between £100 and £500,1 of from £50 to £100, and 5 of from £20 to £50. Giving off a portion to Springfield quoad sacra parish, Cults is in the presbytery of Cupar and synod of Fife; the living is worth £210, The church, 1 mile ENE of Pitlessie, was built in 1793, and, as enlarged in 1835, contains 430 sittings; the interior is adorned with a noble piece of sculpture by Chantrey, erected by Wilkie in memory of his parents. At Pitlessie also are a U.P. church and Cults public school, which, with accommodation for 150 children, had (1880) an average attendance of 82, and a grant of £64, 17s. Valuation (1882) £6596,17s. 8d. Pop. (1801) 699, (1831) 903, (1861) 800, (1871) 767, (1881) 704.—Ord. Sur., sh. 40,1867.

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Tuesday, March 08, 2011

People with full bladders 'make better decisions', scientists discover - Telegraph

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Another great reason to go to the pub.

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James Watt: A Scotsman as Britain's head of steam

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When the Bank of England introduces its new £50 notes later this year, two men will appear on them: James Watt and his partner Matthew Boulton. It is an extraordinary honour – but then, Watt's was an extraordinary life. For many Britons, he was "the greatest benefactor of the human race", the man whose steam engines had powered the Industrial Revolution on which Britain's prosperity was built. When, on his death in 1819, he became the first engineer to be commemorated in Westminster Abbey, it was seen as a fitting reward to a man who was seen as equal, in his own way, to Newton, Archimedes or even Shakespeare.

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Anthony Brooke - Heir to the throne of Sarawak and the last White Rajah.

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Anthony Brooke, who died on March 2 aged 98, was heir to the throne of Sarawak and briefly ruled the romantic jungle kingdom on Borneo with the powers of the last White Rajah.

Brooke's English family had been the absolute rulers of Sarawak for three generations. Popularly known as the White Rajahs, they had their own money, stamps, flag and constabulary, and the power of life and death over their various subjects – Malays, Chinese and Dyak tribesmen, a few of whom still indulged in the grisly custom of headhunting.

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Not so happy in Happy, Texas

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There is not much to be happy about these days in Happy, Texas. Main Street is shuttered but for the Happy National Bank, slowly but inexorably disappearing into a High Plains wind that turns all to dust. The old Picture House, the cinema, has closed. Tumbleweed rolls into the still corners behind the grain elevators, soaring prairie cathedrals that spoke of prosperity before they were abandoned for lack of business.
Happy's problem is that it has run out of water for its farms. Its population, dropping 10 per cent a year, is down to 595. The name, which brings a smile for miles around and plays in faded paint on the fronts of every shuttered business – Happy Grain Inc, Happy Game Room – has become irony tinged with bitterness. It goes back to the cowboy days of the 19th century. A cattle drive north through the Texas Panhandle to the rail heads beyond had been running out of water, steers dying on the hoof, when its cowboys stumbled on a watering hole. They named the spot Happy Draw, for the water. Now Happy is the harbinger of a potential Dust Bowl unseen in America since the Great Depression.

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Inspired by the Pixar film Up, a house is lifted into the air using a cluster of balloons - Telegraph

Sunday, March 06, 2011

They just don't make em like they used to Reg Moores - Telegraph

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eg Moores, who died on February 13 aged 88, was an inventor who developed the radio microphone and taught himself to build nuclear quadrupole resonance spectrometers in his shed; in his day-job he was a professional ice skater, magician, barrel jumper, unicyclist, fire-eater, flea circus proprietor, and the European whistling champion of 1996.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Thursday, March 03, 2011

There is a wee bit o me in this.

Liz Lochhead wrote a poem about the experience of a Scots speaker in school, and it's quite wonderful.

Kidspoem/Bairnsang

it wis January
and a gey driech day
the first day Ah went to the school
so my Mum happed me up in ma
good navy-blue napp coat wi the rid tartan hood
birled a scarf aroon ma neck
pu'ed oan ma pixie an' my pawkies
it wis that bitter
said noo ye'll no starve
gie'd me a wee kiss and a kid-oan skelp oan the bum
and sent me aff across the playground
tae the place A'd learn to say

it was January
and a really dismal day
the first day I went to school
so my mother wrapped me up in my
best nay-blue top coat with the red tartan hood,
twirled a scarf around my neck,
pulled on my bobble-hat and mittens
it was so bitterly cold
said now you won't freeze to death
gave me a little kiss and a pretend slap on the bottom
and sent me off across the playground
to the place I'd learn to forget to say
it wis January
and a gey driech day
the first day Ah went to the school
so my Mum happed me up in ma
good navy-blue napp coat wi the rid tartan hood,
birled a scarf aroon ma neck,
pu'ed oan ma pixie and' ma pawkies
it wis that bitter.

Oh saying it was one thing
But when it came to writing it
In black and white
The way it had to be said
Was as if you were posh, grown-up, male, English and dead.

Chain of Fools : Upgrading through every version of windows (HQ)

Geeky, Long, Nostalgic.

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Beautiful Understatement

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I feel like this on a daily basis. I just never let on.

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Skywatch Friday


Prickly Blue Skies

Don't have a reason to live?

Pretty inspiring. Unfortunately I don't have any friends or motorbikes.

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