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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Three Scots football fans

Three Scots were spending a quiet Friday in Saudi Arabia watching football on TV, and sharing a smuggled case of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in, arrested them, and they were sentenced to death!

However, with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi National Holiday the day the trial finished, and an extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my wife's birthday today, and she asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.

The Rangers fan was first in line (he had drank the least), so he thought for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Rangers fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Celtic fan was next (he finished an entire fifth by himself) and after watching the scene, said "All right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Celtic fan out crying like a little girl.

The Dunfermline fan was last (he had finished off the crate) but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your team has the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this you may have two wishes."

"Thanks your Royal Highness," The Pars fan responded. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

"Tie the Rangers fan to my back...

7 comments:

James Higham said...

This still doesn't tell me which club you're a fan of.

JayBee said...

To have a chance in Cup Final on Saturday we need the whole Celtic team on the booze in Saudi.

This will give the not-so-mighty Pars a chance of another magic victory.

1961, 1968, 2007???

Liz Hinds said...

But what is really important is the Welsh team for Saturday's game.

Lord Nazh said...

el oh el

that was great

Colin Campbell said...

You will have to ask Jocko that one. He lives in Dunfermline. We know who Callum Carr supports.

Me, I am in the anyone but Rangers department. Tie him on.

Crushed said...

It would work better if it was the Celtic fan who asked for the Rangers fan to be put on his back...

I support B'ham City, but I do show some interest in Scottish football, from the point of view of wishing Celtic well and Rangers- less well.

Bill Haydon said...

Ho ho! Good old Rangers, eh?