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Saturday, August 04, 2007

Things You Need to Know Before You Visit Australia

He’s got a few roos loose in the top paddock ….. (he's nuts)
May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down…. (aussie curse)
Flat out like a lizard drinking ….. (in a hurry)
Spittin’ chips ….(cranky, frustrated, irrittated)
Chucking a wobbly ….. (Ranting, tantrum)
Mad as a cut snake …… ( really nuts)
Cranky as a shearers cook ….. (cross)
He’s a six pack but he lacks the wrapping (for people who aren’t too smart)
When the Sahara freezes over and the camels come home with skates on (in other words NEVER!)
Flash as a rat with a gold tooth (for someone all dressed up)
The room’s not big enough to swing a cat ….(small spaces)
Nutty as a fruitcake or crazy as a wheel ….. (nuts)
Laughing like a fat spider up a Christmas tree (when something good happens to you)
He couldn’t fight his way out of a wet paper bag (weak, stupid, idiot)
So hungry I could eat the crutch out of a low flying duck (really hungry)
Queer as a three pound note (for anything suspect)
It’s about as useful as a waterproof teabag (useless)
Wouldn’t it rip the fork out of your nightie (when something shocking or unbelievable happens)
It fits like a stocking on a chook’s lip (means it fits very nicely)
Dry as the sole of an Arab’s sandshoe (drought)
full as a goog…(drunk)…goog is an egg
‘dog’s breakfast’ (A real mess)
’dry as a pom’s towel’ (When someone is very thirsty)
Chip off the old block (like father)
How much can a koala bear (stressed)
Got a face like a twisted mallee root (ugly)
About as much use as a hip pocket in a singlet (useless)
Behind like a cow’s tail (female bottom)
A sausage short of a BBQ (crazy)
Mutton done up as lamb (50+ women trying to look 16 years old)
Useful as an inflatable dartboard (useless, pointless)
Your bloods worth bottling.. ( good folk)
Two bob short of a quid… (crazy)
Cold enough to free the walls off a bark humpy (freezing)
The wind is so strong it’ll blow a dog off the chain (gales, very windy)
half your luck.…..when something good happens…. “congratulations” or “best wishes”.
As useless as tits on a bull….. (useless)
get your Arse into gear……..(someone is asking you to get moving)
Arse about face…(something is back to front)
Beating around the bush …..(not getting to the point on a subject )
Big note yourself ……(to say you are better or more important than you are )
Town Bike …..(woman of loose morals, sleeps around (everyone rides her)
Even Blind Freddy could see that …(what someone would say to you, if you are not understanding something that is obvious )
off to the Bog to leave an offering…(off to the toilet to leave a deposit)
As honest as John Howard (very very honest and trustworthy - NOT!)

All you need to know now is when to use them.

Thanks Little Aussie Cynic

6 comments:

ashleigh said...

You need to add:

Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery

A few sandwiches short of a picnic

A couple of bottles short of a six-pack

LOMBARD (Lots Of Money But A Real Dickhead)

Given time i'll remember a few more :)

James Higham said...

I like "up her like a rat up drainpipe."

Jeremy Jacobs said...

we say arse about face in East Finchley. What's so special about Australia?

River said...

To Jeremy Jacobs, who wants to know what's so special about Australia--Come down under and see for yourself. We're the "lucky country" don'tcha know.

jmb said...

A brick short of a load.

Gosh some of these must be new or perhaps very local.

Colin Campbell said...

I'm still on Aussie Lingo 101