You'd think a professional chef who is also a cannibal would be into some ambitious human meat food, right? Nope! A 21-year-old Russian cook and (now-jailed) cannibal settled for some boring old meatballs and sausages.
According to RIA Novosti, the guy found his victim on a "gay website" (his opening line was, we hope, "looking to eat your meatballs and sausage"), and then stabbed him to death before butchering him and preparing the dishes. While we would have liked to see something experimental—sous-vide people flesh, say—sausages and meatballs are certainly more versatile. And, before the stupid police got involved, you could have made them yourself at home!