Saturday, February 07, 2009

All You Need To Know Ladies

                         The Man Rules  
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

  Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear
 " the Rules 
From the female side.  

  Now here are the rules from the male side.    

These are our rules!


1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon 
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

4. Crying is blackmail.

5. Ask for what you want. 

Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! 
Just say it!

6. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 

9. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

0. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  otherway

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done. 
Not both.
And if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

2. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials…. 

3. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

4. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not 
A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have noidea what mauve is.

5. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

6. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. 
We know you are lying, but i t is just not worth the hassle. 

7. If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer that you don't want to hear.

8. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

9. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, hockey

20. You have enough clothes.

21. You have too many shoes.

22. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

23. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. 

I am just clearing some of this with my wife.


ocean said...

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Lilly's Life said...

There is so much I could say but wont. Simply because there is a tiny little part of me that says its all true lol!!!!

Relax Max said...

Funny. Interesting. True. But I would be afraid to actually post these where my wife could see them. I admire your courage.

sammawow said...

I am so laughing aloud and enjoying all the rules that you have put forth! It was all brilliant and yes, I am happily married for over 25 years!

Still enjoying this post!

bigrab said...


All true!

Kevin John said...

Funny as hell!Kudos & I hope it all went down well with your wife.