Obama wins the Beer Vote

Which US politician would you like to have a beer with?

Apparently Obama has this race locked up. Personally I'll just take the beer thanks. The thought of having a beer with Mike Huckabee is enough to make me barf.

Word Hokey Cokey

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition.


1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it’s a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

I like number 1, because that is us now and number 14, which describes some of the people I work with.

Thanks, the always interesting Hugh Manatee

Aussie Bloggers Forum

Although there was a very good community blogging resource at Bumpzee to promote and share Australian blogs, things have improved recently.

Over the past couple of weeks, a small group of dedicated Australian bloggers have taken on the challenge to setup a forum whose aims include “empowering, encouraging, supporting and promoting Aussie Bloggers and the Australian blogosphere in general”.

The founders, Snoskred, Andrew Boyd and Meg Tsiamis have been busily setting up and sorting out Aussie Bloggers. They are supported by a group of moderators who also come with years of practical blogging and online experience. The "establishment team" are:

Snoskred from Life in the Country

Meg from Dipping into the Blogpond

Andrew from On Blogging Australia

Christine from Semfire Search Engine Marketing

Karen from Miscellaneous Adventures of an Aussie Mum

Gavin from Servant of Chaos

Lani from Blogging Personal (launching in January 2008)

Jen from Semantically Driven

Lightening from Lightening Online

Sue from Blogging Sueblimely

Squadron from SEO Blog

Kelley from Magneto Bold Too

John from Disassociated

Cellobella from SultanaBlog

Martin from Small Office Australia

Steve from AcidLabs

Stephen from More Than Scratch the Surface

and moi Adelaide Green Porridge Cafe

I am happy to be part of this group and look forward to watching this forum and community grow. So make sure you visit the blog, launching on January 21 ... and REGISTER for the forum. There is a wealth of great material already available and really friendly helpful Aussie bloggers to point you in the right direction and share some fun stuff with.

If you haven't joined, I recommend it. Very useful.

Wordless Wednesday: Ryan the Exhibitionist

More Wordless Wednesday

Blogging is Like Masturbation because....

Andrew Boyd asks the important questions.

# it often gives the greatest pleasure to one person alone,
# it can feel weird doing it with someone looking over your shoulder,
# your spouse/partner/husband/girlfriend probably can’t understand why you’re doing this thing that doesn’t involve them (and you might be sneaking off to do it more often than they would like),
# sometimes you do it because it makes you feel good, and other times you just do it because you have to,

more guilt inducing squirmyness here.

Classic. I am just off to make a cup of tea blog now.

Thanks Andrew.

Optus Customer Service Voice Recognition Software Sucks (Amongst Many Things)

We recently changed internet providers from Telstra Internode to Telstra Optus. We have had Optus dial up in the past and our main concern was crap customer service. We should have known. What do we have now? Crap Customer Service. Internode is based here in Adelaide and our neighbour two doors down works for them. He helped to get us set up, lent us a modem, troubleshot, suggested....In addition, the customer service, based in Adelaide was outstanding and always readily available.

Now that we bit the bullet and bought an ADSL 2+ or something whiz bang like that, we have stepped up from a 512K package, which once we got it set up has been very good. Trouble is you have to now call Mumbai to get help and often have to navigate the uber annoying voice recognition software to get where you need to get. The first time I did it, I was politely asked what I wanted. After slowly and clearly saying I-N-T-E-R-N-E-T in my most moronic voice, the friendly computer politely reminded me that I must be speaking Lithuanian I needed to try again. Luckily when I said "This is complete bullshit" very loudly, I was immediately connected to the correct path. Only seventeen voice activated prompts to go before I can talk to a human I thought. I was eventually connected to a friendly but not particularly helpful person in Mumbai, who assured me that I had been connected to the DSL Department and not the ADSL Department and that they could not help me and that he would transfer me. Well sorry for bothering you and have a nice day expletive deleted I thought, immediately prior to being hung up on.

So despite them sending the wrong modem, not being able to provide help in setting it up, getting exasperated on four separate and similar calls to try to get help, we are now up and running. As long as the system works, we are in good shape.

My last encounter was last night, was when I tried to set up the email since our other email is about to expire with our closed account. I found that out of 98 messages that we had received in the month that we had the account despite never having used it were 96 spam or junk emails. Not to bad considering that we had never sent an email with this address on it. After three separate calls to anybody who would listen and getting more and more annoyed I ended up with a nice lady in Mumbai who politely assured me that there was absolutely nothing that I could do (and have a nice day) and that I should just delete them and make room for more just accept it. Eventually after some cajoling by me, she agreed to look into it and voila! we discovered the spam management system, which I managed to turn on and although it has not killed all the spam it is a lot better.

So Optus, lift your game. It is worse than Telstra, which is saying something. Your customer service while helpful when you finally get to the pointy end, is exasperating, annoying and almost certain to lose you customers. Let us hope that I never have to deal with any customer service type issues again. Why is Telco customer service so poor?

Please tell me where you would like to go next.... If you want to read the post again press 1.....Heads into an endless loop somewhere in customer service land *screams loudly as he goes insane*

Thank you for listening.

Is accessing somebody's open WIFI stealing?

For over a month at our last house we were "stealing" the next door neighbours wifi connection. I don't feel bad about it because it was an honest mistake. For the longest time we had a hard connection from the modem to the computer. When we got our brand new fandabidosi Dell laptop, I set up the wifi connection. Unfortunately, I didn't realise that I was connecting to the neighbours modem. Thanks Vince. It was only when I went to see our internet benefactor, who lives two doors down and who works for Internode, our provider, that I realised what was going on, when our modem seemed to be working, but our connection was lost. Turns out our neighbour was on holiday. Easily fixed.

Peter Black through Ars Technica takes a look at the ethics of freeloading on open wifi connections and concludes that if people don't secure their connections then it should be their loss. Apparently it is illegal in some parts of the world to do this. As things move forward there is likely to be open wifi everywhere. Australia is really lame in this department and is years behind the UK and the USA. Come on Mr Conroy and Mr Rudd get cracking. We need more places where we can steal wifi.

Australian becomes a Geisha

A Melbourne women has qualified to become one of only 45 geishas and has started work serving tea and saki,dancing and lighting cigars.

She has been allowed to enter the mysterious "flower and willow world" of Japan's geisha for the first time.

Fiona Graham first came to Japan at the age of 15 on a school exchange program. Impressed by the culture, she graduated from a Japanese high school, attended Keio University and Oxford before completing a doctorate in social anthropology.

True to tradition, Sayuki — her professional name — meaning transparent happiness will not reveal her age. To enter the 400-year-old institution, she had to master a range of skills such as the drum, tea ceremony, small talk and traditional dancing as well as her own specialist gei, meaning art or entertainment. Sayuki plays the traditional bamboo flute, practising every day.

She plans to write on her experience later.

From the Age

Cricket Makes a Monkey out of a Molehill

Just Monkeying Around?

The Fourth Umpire is Burned in Effigy

Just Donkeying Around? Who would be an Umpire?

Darryl Hair Where Are You? All is Forgiven

Umpires were back in the effigy burning business as most of India and the Indian Cricket Team huffed and puffed about the Sydney Test, marred by unsportsmanlike behaviour, terrible umpiring, racism charges and the aftermath, with the normally fairly thoughtful Peter Roebuck calling for the Australian Captain to be fired. Serious stuff and the biggest thing to hit world cricket since Darryl Hair accused the Pakistanis of cheating.

Many have called for the umpires to be fired and fair play and the spirit of the game to be magically restored. Not likely, with the Indian Captain accusing Australia of not playing in the spirit of the game and a senior Indian player quoted as saying:

"We have been treated unfairly by the umpires, cheated of a favourable result in the match, are playing a team that cheats and lies quite blatantly, even while pretending to uphold the spirit of the game. The worst of it is, they get away with everything, every dirty tactic, every dubious call."

Nice!

I watched some of the test and saw the last hour, which was gripping television. Cricket can be a glorious, riveting and ugly affair. This was certainly one example that met these criteria.

No doubt commercial considerations will make everyone get together and be nice. Besides we have tickets to the Adelaide Test. Who said a little bit of niggle wasn't good for selling tickets.

As an aside, Harsha Bogle, the Indian cricket commentator on the ABC said that calling someone a monkey was not racist in India. That may be true, but with the history of the monkey taunting of Andrew Symonds in India and the aftermath, it was to say the least ill advised. Especially so given the sensitive nature of the Australian cricketers, who would never sledge an opponent. I just don't think that Ponting, Hayden and the like have any moral high ground to stand on. More like a a molehill than a mountain. Seems to me that they are being a little prima donna like and a trifle precious. No wonder they are being accused of being cry babies by former Test Captains.

I think that the major issue is the loss of face by the Indian team and that some kiss and make up will be necessary. I wonder if that is culturally appropriate? Entertaining all the same. Nothing like some bad publicity to raise the profile of the game and interest in its product.

T Shirt Religion 101

Sid the Seagull gets Fired

In a blow to seagull rights in Australia, Sid the Seagull the embodiment of sun protection and slip slap slop has been fired in the latest round of skin cancer awareness adverts from the Commonwealth Government. I wonder if he qualifies for the new Labor Governments Unfair Dismissal Laws?



With temperatures set to hit over 40 degrees again this week and extreme ultra violet ratings already in place for parts of Australia including Adelaide, shock adverts rather like the gruesome cigarette ones are planned.

Yesterday, the cartoon creature was replaced by gory, real-life footage of melanoma patients under the knife as health authorities ramped up their fight against skin cancer.

A new $11.5 million campaign, launched yesterday by federal Health Minister Nicola Roxon, features television, radio and print advertisements - this time targeting people aged 13 to 24.

The hard-hitting campaign warns too much sun is a killer, urging people to not just slip on a shirt, slop on sunscreen and slap on a hat, but also wear wrap-around sunglasses and shelter in the shade.

Over 1,600 Australians die every year from skin cancer, 380,000 Australians are getting a skin cancer removed each year, over one million GP visitations [are caused by skin cancer] each year."

Mr Sinclair said the incidence of skin cancers in Australia were sky-rocketing, costing the health system more than $300 million a year.

He blamed an "explosion of solariums," European fashion trends and teenage rebellion for breaking down the sun smart message but said skin cancer campaigns saved lives.

Australia has the highest incidence of skin cancer in the world and it is the most common cancer in 15 to 24-year-olds.

I know at least two people about my age who are having skin cancers dug out from their bodies on a regular basis after a youth of unprotected fun in the sun. It is a very real issue. We are very careful with the kids, especially now that we have a pool. Nothing I even thought about as a kid growing up in cold and wet Scotland. I can hardly even remember sunbathing.

Foreshadowing 9/11?

Pakistan airlines ad, 1979, scan from the newspaper.

Spooky.

Thanks Pizdaus and Kwoff.

Tindo the Solar Powered Bus Hits Adelaide

Adelaide has commissioned a solar powered bus as part of their public transport system.

The Tindo (aboriginal word for sun) will get its electricity from a $AU550,000 solar PV system on Adelaide's central bus station. Even better: Rides are free as part of Adelaide's public transport system.

Nice! Although it is only a small commitment towards environmentally friendly public transport, it is a very visible reminder of the potential of solar power in a part of the world which can use it.

Thanks Ecogeek.

Hillary Plots for the 2012 Democratic Primaries

Best News of the Week. Thanks Iowa.

Update: Seems Hillary won anyway. Looks a bit suss to me. Talk about a candidate of the establishment.

Thanks Sarge Charlie.

Photo Hunt: Delicious

We had our first Christmas in our new house. Granny came to share it with us and we had a feast consistent with the warm weather on the verandah. Delicious. At least one turkey was saved in the making of the meal.

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New Career for 2008? Consider Sewage Diving

Bored with your job? Need a new challenge? Why not consider sewage diving.

We can be under several metres of sewage for up to four hours.

The first metre or two of sewage can be quite dense. We've had it that thick that the guys have dropped spanners and they haven't fallen.

It's black and silent. It's just pure black, you can't see anything. It can be very claustrophobic and it takes careful planning before you go ahead.

You can walk through the sewage but not really swim. We've had times when there were big islands we've had to remove when pumps have broken down. We've had to go in with big suction heads and suck 500 foot of solid poo out — lovely days!

It doesn't smell bad at all for the diver; he's normally on processed air. The hardest job is the people who have to wash them down and clean them up afterwards.

When I lived in Singapore I learned to Scuba Dive. Visibility in Singapore waters is very poor, and there is no coral because of all the dredging for land being developed in the sea to house petrochemical complexes and land to build on. That said, there is great diving in all the countries around Singapore. My favourite was on Mactan Island in the Philippines, where I stayed at the dive resort and had a dive in the morning before going to work and a dive in the evening before dinner. Very beautiful and considerably more fun than diving in human waste.

Censorship Smokescreen by New Age Labor

The New Age Labor Government has proposed mandatory filtering of objectionable (to be determined) internet sites, focussing on protecting children.

Stephen Collins, who obviously understands a lot more about the technical issues and who is also a parent has a well balanced piece discussing the proposed internet filtering plan.

Yesterday’s announcement verifying the Australian Federal Government will be mandatorily requiring ISPs to filter the nastiness from the ‘Net is plain and simple stupidity. Not only is it simply not achievable, it’s nanny stating at its worst and significantly limiting of free speech (something we don’t have a guaranteed right to in Australia AFAIK).

I am all for protecting children. We do it by only allowing internet access in our living room with parental supervision and talking openly about any slightly off the wall stuff that inevitably comes up.

Personally I think that this is just a smokescreen to mask some of the really hard decisions coming up about how to proceed with the huge promised broadband investment and the fight with Yanqui Sol and the boys from Telstra as they set about their plan to reestablish the Telstra monopoly on the the most profitable parts of the telecommunications infrastructure in Australia.

Duncan Riley from Techcrunch also has some thoughts including some good links and a very robust comment thread.

And here is the Public Announcement from Teh Department of Internets (Interwebs??)

Marine Masochists - Why?

I just do not get people like these.

I have nothing against adventure, but what is it that motivates people to do nutty things like row from New Zealand to Australia. Only 31 days and 2,000 kilometres.

"Pain you can manage," Mr Gates said.

"Our medical kit was designed to get you through.

"The fact that everyone is still walking today is testimony to some of the drugs in that medical kit, but it's the mental toughness when you're stuck in that rear cabin."

Eleven metre seas and massive storms forced the crew of two men and two women to shelter in the 3m x 1.8m cabin early in the journey.

"When you're stuck in there for four days with three people, you've got condensation running down the walls, everything's wet, you're wet, nothing's dry and there's no room, so if one person moves they kick the other person in the head - that's pretty tough," Mr Gates said.

As well as the storms, Mr Gates said the four rowers encountered sharks, whales, pods of dolphins and narrowly avoided a collision with a ship.

As we speak another couple of people are kayaking the other way.

Hello. This is the season of crass consumerism. How is this kind of behaviour propping up the Antipodean Economy.

Based on my own experience of kayaking, that would be a pretty boring trip. I think that I will stick with tedious reruns and unpacking boxes.

Photo Hunt: Messy

Hannah and her friend love to make dinner with everything in the garden. Sand, leaves, flowers...anything. Very creative and great fun but very messy to tidy up. Hannah tends to not be as interested in that part of the activity, so guess who does the clean up.

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I wonder if they will send it in the mail?

I must be on the this guys a sucker list for all these scams judging by how many I get. I liked this one. I wonder what you would do with 800 kg of gold dust and how much it would cost to ship to Australia.

GOLD DUST OFFERS 800 KGS Inbox

Reply

gold_field@sohu.com

show details
06:03 (15 hours ago)

Dear Sir/Madam, WE HAVE GOLD DUST FOR SALE

We are so glads to write you this time to introduce our company to you, we are a small skill mining company which we base in Accra (GHANA) We have a total of Eight Hundreds Kilos (800 Kilos) of GOLD DUST in our storage please if you are interested kindly inform us immediatly so that we can send our FCO to you . if you are interesting in purchase the Gold Dust revert bact to our direct e-mail address as follow: mineralgdss@yahoo.com mineralgd@gmail.com


Thanks and God bless you,

Best Regards

Dr. Ahmed Suleiman

I'll be on the plane this weekend.