Thursday, January 10, 2008

Word Hokey Cokey

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition.

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it’s a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

I like number 1, because that is us now and number 14, which describes some of the people I work with.

Thanks, the always interesting Hugh Manatee


Anonymous said...

Ignoranus.... that is my favourite.

These a brilliant!

jmb said...

Decafalon does it for me! Thank good ness the arachnoleptic fit season is past for the while.

JayBee said...

Ignoranus was my favourite too.

Still on words but not this game. In fact this is true.

Many many years ago there was a post-doc in the same lab and he worked on a particular group of arsenic compounds. If he was asked, What do you work with?" he could say, in all honesty, "I work with arsoles!"

Simply to avoid the embarrassment the word was always pronounced as though it contained a "z": thus "arzoles"

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious. Thanks - I needed a good laugh! :-)

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