CHURCH of England vicars will bless gay couples as long as they are allowed to quote Bible passages about them being abominations who must be put to death.
As the House of Lords voted to allow same-sex church ceremonies, vicars said they would extend a 'warm Christian welcome to the evil doers and their perverted bedtime acrobatics'.
Rev Denys Hatton, vicar of St Gary's in Folkham, said: "I am more than happy to perform a gay blessing as long as I am allowed to pick the reading. And since you ask, I would kick things off with a spot of Corinthians, where St Paul makes it abundantly clear that homosexuals are 'unrighteous'.
"Then I'd crank it up with a quote from Romans where St Paul describes them as 'degrading', 'depraved' and 'indecent'."
He added: "There is a misconception that the New Testament is all sweetness and light and that Jesus loved everyone. But what he actually said was 'follow the Old Testament, but don't have a go at prostitutes because some of them are friends of mine'."