England’s 2011 robot football world cup preparations are in disarray after several high-profile members of the playing squad found themselves embroiled in a series of sex scandals with ageing mechanical devices.
The tournament, in which robots play each other at football, is seen as an incredible feat of engineering in trying to find machines capable of behaving much like their human equivalents.
However the England team is already in chaos thanks to tabloid revelations involving star striker the Roonetron W3000, which is accused of paying a mobility scooter to carry out a sex act on him behind a night club in Southport.
Team manager Dr Subramanian Ramamoorthy, an assistant professor in the School of Informatics at Edinburgh University, has played down the alleged incident and insisted that the team is fully focused on the task ahead.
“Media attempts to unsettle the players prior to the tournament are not acceptable,” he insisted.