Friday, March 21, 2008

Massive U Turn by China after International Pressure

Beijing has given in to international pressure and promised to change it's ways. While it is resolute on the Tibet issue, some jumped up athletic prima donnas have forced a major cultural change in the way pooping will be conducted during the Olympics.

If you are stuck with the squat toilet, here is how you go about it.

Approach the squat toilet apprehensively and make sure it's not covered in stool. If it is covered in stool, choose another stall. If another stall is not available, accept the cards that have been dealt you. This is a good time to come up with a title for your experience such as My Great B.M. Adventure or Disgusticon One.

Close the door to the stall, knowing full well the handle has more germs on it than the entire population of Botswana.

Place your feet on the appropriate foot grids, assuming they are not covered in stool. If they are covered in stool, place your feet on the least fouled space you can find, being careful to maintain balance.

Unfasten and drop your trousers and underpants, making sure that they do not make contact with the urine and stool covered surface area.

Grimace and ask yourself if a country with such a toilet can or should ever be a superpower.

This is only part of it and yes I know that this is way too much information, but based on my own experience, this is pretty close to the mark. And as for those 8 foot 10 basketballers, I can feel your pain as you squat and can understand why you would want the change.

Now all you have to do is to use some of this persuasive stuff and take up the Tibet issue.


Tracey said...

Another EXCELLENT reason not to visit China. Good to know!

LadyBanana said...

They have these sort of toilets in a lot of places in Dubai.. with the accompanying hose pipe.. was yuck!