It's a goodbye fae him and him and him and her

Scots are more than twice as likely to commit suicide than our neighbours to the south. Scottish men are three times more likely than Scottish women to top themselves. The reasons according to the study are not clear.

This is on top of the slow suicide, which is the Scottish diet, the violent drinking culture and generally sedentary way of life, the weather and crap sports teams. It is amazing that some Scots stay alive long enough to commit suicide.

I can remember sitting next a guy called William Harding in a third year English class. He was prone to outrageous behaviour and proudly announced that he was going to kill himself that morning. Every two minutes he took an asprin and carried on working. Nobody else knew this was going on and the teacher was very intimidating, so I had no idea how to deal with it. I had to wait until the end of the class and dob him in to the Headmaster. He wasn't very happy to be rushed off to the hospital in Dundee to have his stomach pumped.