Photo Hunt: Water

Water is useful for

Drinking

Fishing and Hunting

Cleaning

Beach Going


Swimming

Scenic Backgrounds

We just need a bunch more of it here in South Australia.

photohunt

Obama, Gay Drug Induced Sex and Kilt Wearing Attorneys

Obama Campaign forced to focus on the serious stuff.

Major issues of the week include accusations of gay drug induced sex by a dodgy wacko supported by a kilt wearing attorney and whether Michelle wears pantyhose.

He has what is called a colourful background: a 27-year criminal career which includes convictions for fraud, forging cheques, and stealing credit card numbers.

Sinclair was accompanied by his kilt-clad lawyer, Montgomery Blair Sibley. Sibley has had his own problems: a Florida court struck him off for vexatious litigation, most of it directed against his former wife.

"I don't mean to be impudent," said one reporter, "but why are you wearing a kilt?"

Sibley explained: "It has to do with genitalia. If you are on the smaller side, then pants are not uncomfortable."

Huh? I can confirm that kilts are very comfortable and there is plenty of room and lots of air flow.

And Michelle had to face probing personal questions on television.

After a few serious questions about her patriotism, they got down to real business: whether sleeveless dresses, favoured by Mrs Obama, are for everyone, and whether she wears pantyhose. Answer: pantyhose is uncomfortable if you are 1.8 metres tall.

Important stuff.

Can we just vote now?

Smart Airse

My seven year old son Ryan has Show and Tell on Wednesday morning. When it was his turn he was asked if he had anything to share. He walked across to the telling chair, sat down and pulled some air out of his pocket telling them "Here's My Air".... Stunned silence.

The teacher used it as an opportunity for a science lesson.

I wonder if they are allowed to smoke cigars in Heaven

If so, he would be puffing away contentedly.

You know you are from Adelaide if...

You meet people at the 'Malls Balls'

You consider 40 degrees to be a bit warm

You drink Farmer's Union Iced Coffee

You drink Coopers

And you know It's the best beer in the world

You've been to the brewery lights's

You've eaten a Balfour's frog cake

You know that a Berliner is something you eat

You like YoYo biscuits

You grew up on Fritz & sauce sangas

You know it's a 'yiros', not a 'kebab'

You can drink SA tap water without noticing any unpleasant flavours

You've been to the Pancake Kitchen (open 24 hours)

You call the corner store a 'deli'

You pronounce graph as 'grarph', plant as 'plarnt' and dance as 'darnce'

You know that Victor Harbor is the only place to be for Schoolies.

You went to school camps as the Red Shield Aquatics Camp in Victor Harbor

You know where 'Porta Gutta' is

You have been to the club formerly known as Heaven at least once (and you were under 18).

You have been to Flashdance at HQ at least once

You've started the night on the East End then drunkly walked through Rundle Mall in the early hours to get to the West End (or vice versa)

You know that there's more than one way to have a good time on Hindley Street

Pints are the big beers

After a big night you've ended up at 'The Cas'

You've been to the museum on 5 different school excursion but never returned as an adult

You've been to the St. Kilda playground

You miss Magic Mountain at the bay

You know that 'the bay' is Glenelg

You would never swim at Glenelg because it's gross

You have been to Glenelg and got extremely sunburnt

You know the state floral and fauna emblem (but just in case it comes up at a quiz night)

You still call AAMI Stadium, ' Footy Park '.

You support the Crows/the Power

And you'd rather give up your first born than see the other team win the flag

You know the South Australians invited the checkside punt

You have a very strong opinion on Lleyton Hewitt

You forgave the Chappells for the 1981 Underarm Incident purely out of South Australian patriotism.

Your 'sports gurus' are KG and Cornesy

You've never watched NRL

You've been to the Christmas pageant as a child and as an adult

You've lined up for more than half an hour to see Santa at the Magic Cave

You've bought something from the pie cart

You know what a pie floater is

You've eaten a pie floater

You can't go out without seeing someone you know

You shop at Foodland

You have a Hills Hoist in your backyard

You know the Hills Hoist was invented in South Australia as was wine casks, penicillin and the retractable seat belt

At least half of your neighbours were born before 1950

You can leave work at 5:15 and miss 'peak hour traffic'

Your definition of 'peak hour' traffic is more than 5 cars at a red light

You're always running late because the public transport system is so old

You know and love the sound the ticket machine makes on public transport

You feel like punching the next person who calls it the City of Churches

You walk past at least 5 churches on your way to work

Seeing a large, Aboriginal man walking around town in a leotard and gum boots in the middle of winter does not surprise you

You know his name is Johnny

You know who Stormy Summers is

You think the 'Tiser has no journalistic integrity whatsoever.... And yet you still read it every day.

You remember John Martin's

You've been on the Pop-Eye

You know the people out on the Torrens are either tourists or rowers. No one else would go near that water.

You know where beehive corner is

You hate the new tram

You think the Festival Centre is a wonder of modern architecture.

You've used the term 'minda' as an insult

A pale/palie is a Coopers Pale Ale

You've saved up your bottles and cans from a big night out, collected the 5c deposit and then used it to buy more beer

You know what a 'stobie pole' is

You say 'heaps good'

One of the first questions you ask a person is where they went to school

You have the same friends from high school

You don't like Victorians

They stole our Grand Prix

Your dads best friend friends next door neighbour knows some one in the Hells Angels that can get stuff.

You acknowledge that, while half of our state is uninhabitable, you know that it's still the greatest.

You console yourself that, despite all our faults, at least South Australia wasn't built by convicts.

You understood and laughed at this list

You live in South Australia

And you'll probably die here too

I have definitely been here too long. I had to say yes to a lot of these.

I am willing to answer questions in comments for slabs of paleys.

Sex for Sex Sake

It's October 20th at 10.30 pm and it's time for sex. Only about a 70 days to go until we can stop. Would you be up for it?

This looks like NaBloPoMo for jaded marriages.

Let's say you and your spouse haven't had sex for so long that you can't remember the last time you did. Not the day. Not the month. Maybe not even the season. Would you look for gratification elsewhere? Would you file for divorce? Or would you turn to your mate and say: "Honey, you know, I've been thinking. Why don't we do it for the next 365 days in a row?"

Based on my own experience posting every day for the sake of it was really boring and made for a lot of dull blog posts.

Do you think having sex for sex sake for a year would revitalise a jaded marriage? It is bad enough with all the other "responsibilities and duties" that we have in life. That and documenting it and publishing it. Is that narcissistic or nutty? Or both?

Call me boring, but I think I would rather paint the ceiling.

Wouldn't Want to be a Hummer Salesman

As I walked from my car yesterday morning I passed a very new Hummer parked by the side of the road near my office. The owner was walking out to get in. I felt like going up to him and asking him whether he was mad. (Scroll down through the evaluation of the bank ads to the Chevy Anti Ads). I wonder if that would have been justified moral kerb rage?

Hummers are more visible in Adelaide in the last six months, having hardly seen any in my first six years here. What a time to introduce the brand here in Australia. They are visible as limousines and Hummer sponsor the professional basketball league. Your reward for being professional basketball player of the year is a free Hummer. Probably good for leg room, but I wonder if they throw in a years free petrol, which would probably be worth more than the car? The model you see here is the Hummer Lite whatever it is called, but the limousines are pretty large.

All this as the American love affair with the SUV collapses.



When I was living in America I had a Ford Explorer for about a year when we lived in California. It seemed alright at that time, with petrol at about $1.50 a gallon. I mean it was my right and it seemed vaguely sensible at the time. It was fun and it took me to some fun places. What it also did, was to empty its tank very quickly. It didn't seem so large when I lived there. Everything is large in America? Actually when I was buying it, the other part of the car yard sold Hummers. I sat in one and I think the very slick sales person told me that they got around 5 miles to the gallon.

I also toyed with the idea of an F150, until recently Americas top selling vehicle, overtaken by those bastion of tough guy transportation the Civic and the Camry, ten years earlier when my trusty Saab blew up. I made the sensible decision, saving my marriage at the same time, when I bought a small station wagon. My wife was in some exotic location for work for a month and I am quite sure that she would have killed me if I had made the emotional decision to buy a truck in her absence. I still like the idea of a large truck, just not the community revulsion and the petrol bill.

Living here in Australia, they seem larger by comparison and with the price of petrol here would have to be an element of financial hari kiri and community revulsion to be seen driving one of those at the moment. There is already a strong negative opinion about Toorak Tractor drivers running the kids to school.

This weeks big whine by Australians is about the high price of petrol,which hovers around $1.60 a litre at the moment. Seventy eight percent of Australians surveyed in a political poll looking for politicians to fix the price of petrol. This unrealistic political anger is part of a very public backlash against the previously somewhat flawless Rudd Government, who during the election campaign had raised community expectations that they could do something about petrol prices and grocery prices, which clearly they cannot.

It is also part of this cultural shift in what we chose to drive, how much we chose to drive and a much needed public discussion like we are seeing in South Australia on public transport investment. The state treasurer announced a long term much needed and quite substantial public investment in transportation with the electrification of the existing diesel network, the extension of the tram and train network to new destinations and other investments. That is a big political call in this not so huge spread out, car loving urban area that is Adelaide.

It signals a big shift that has been a long time coming and a short time getting started thanks to big kick up the back side from Opec and their buddies in the oil supply business.

Of course if I wanted to be patriotic, I could always get a Ute mate. Think of all the chicks I could pull.

Pop Pyscho-ology

Some of these are true.

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
Procrastinate Now!
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Watch out for the Coconuts

They would likely kill you if you hung around for long enough in Mildaren, South Australia.



When I lived in Singapore we used to go walking and cycling along East Coast Park and they had much shorter palms with Beware of Falling Coconuts Signs. That was not so unusual in safety conscious Singapore. I never heard of anyone being killed by an unfortunate gravity assisted coconut attack. Being hit by lightning was much more common.

Non Merci

Bonjour,

Mon nom est Moïse Touré et je suis de nationalité Ivoirienne. Je
vous écris cette lettre d'Abidjan où j'ai trouvé refuge après la guerre
brutale et le meurtre de mes parents par les rebelles pendant les combats
qui ont repris à Bouaké au centre de la Côte d'Ivoire.

À cause de la guerre mon défunt père a vendu ses société (des Station
services et une Société de transport de poids lourds et d'engins) et a
fait un dépôt de NEUF MILLIONS CINQ CENT MILLE Dollars Américains dans une
banque ici à Abidjan la capitale de la Côte-d'Ivoire.

En raison des clauses de dépôt des dits fonds que mon père a passé avec la
banque, je demande votre aide pour m'aider à transférer cet argent dans
votre pays et aussi pour me permettre de venir poursuivre mes études et
mon éducation dans votre pays.

Je suis disposé à vous offrir un bon pourcentage (20%) de toute la somme
en compensation de vos efforts pour m'aider après le transfert des fonds
dans votre compte bancaire. Tout en espérant que vous ne me trahirez pas
quand l'argent sera transféré dans votre compte bancaire.

En outre, si vous acceptez de m'aider ce que je souhaite ardemment, cette
transaction sera conclue en moins de 72 heures (3 jours).

J'attends votre réponse rapidement.

Sincères salutations,

Moïse Touré.

Spam Francais??? Sounds like a cheap meal.

I also recently had my first chinese spam and my first japanese spam comment. Teh internet it is such a global phenom. I am honored that all those people from other places are interested in me.

Spotty Vaccuum Cleaner Attack Dog

Now I know why Spotty hates the vaccuum cleaner.

A street-sweeping truck roaring down a New York city street, sucked up a dog and killed it as its owner held the leash.

Robert Machin said he had just finished walking his two Boston terriers and was about to put them into his car when the truck appeared on Thursday morning in the Bronx.

The retired transit worker said he was suddenly whipped around and saw one of the dogs, Ginger, being swallowed by the sweeper's round bristles.

Dogs definitely have sixth sense. Spotty knows instantaneously when I am about to leave the house and is always keen to put his paw up to go along. He shadows me like a bad smell until the decision is made.

He has always hated the vaccuum cleaner and attacks it at every opportunity if we don't kick him out of the house while the machine of terror is doing its job.

We are lucky because we always walk him at our local park where we can reach without going more than 20 metres on the road, other parks that we drive too and the beach.

But death by road sweeper. That has to be about your worst nightmare as a pet owner .

Photo Hunt: Emotions

Bored at Ikea

Being silly at School

Being happy on the computer

Being cute for the camera

Being silly for the Camera

Gone mad as a Parent

Family Life is full of emotions. That is what makes us humans. Sometimes it is hard to verbalise, but you can usually tell by looking at photographs how people were feeling.

photohunt

Tin Wedding Anniversary

Tin seems a pretty worthless metal to celebrate our tenth wedding anniversay today, Friday the 13th. This is my second ten year wedding anniversary and I worked out that I have been married almost half of my life. I plan to buy my wife a tin of soup to celebrate.

Anyway, here are the Hoodoo Gurus, who Elizabeth really likes, to celebrate with us.



Happy Anniversary Elizabeth. Would you like your soup warm or hot? Don't say I am not flexible.

Toilettiquette

Just don't do it all at once!

And what is bottom right doing?

I am always blamed for all the faux pas in the toilet. I am resigned to my fate.

Are men boring?

Sabine Durrant thinks British men are boring.

Not judging from the long and boring article itself and the witty comments to the article.

I recommend skipping the article and reading the hostile reaction she stirred up.

Ever tried to milk a Giraffe?

Israeli researchers have determined that giraffes are kosher for eating and drinking.

Shavuot, or the festival of the first fruits, which begins tomorrow, is traditionally a time for consuming milk products. Milk from a non-kosher animal is widely held not to coagulate or curdle.

It had already been established that giraffe meat was kosher since the giraffe, like a cow, both has a cloven hoof and is a ruminant.

Rabbi Shlomo Mafhoud, who accompanied the researchers from the Volcani Agricultural Institute, said: "The giraffe has all the signs of a ritually pure animal, and the milk that forms curds strengthened that."

Don't expect big game hunting or commercial giraffe dairies to be established to feed this market. It is theoretical rather than practical since giraffes are endangered. And does it taste any good anyway?

Remembering the 1980s The Celtics against the Lakers

Listening to the radio yesterday I learned with interest that the Celtics and the Lakers were contesting another NBA Championship series. When I moved to America in the mid 1980s I had never heard of Larry Bird or Magic Johnston and I doubt that I had ever watched a game of basketball. I had also never heard off or listened to the voice of the NBA, Brent Musburger, whose voice I would get to know well in the first few years of living there.

We played it at high school for gym for about six weeks a year. I hated it with the heavy ball and the impossible hoop. This story is how I came to love the game for a short period of time.

We stayed for a while in Vermont where all the finals games were on television on CBS. My future father in law was born and bred in Boston and he filled me in on some of the important details. The names from that era are very clear in my mind. I can remember many late nights gripped by the intense theatre from the dusty old Boston Garden and the razzmatazz of Los Angeles . The rivalry between the teams was stark.

During this period, this rivalry took on many dimensions, such as East Coast vs. West Coast, Working class grit vs. Hollywood glitz, old tradition vs. air-conditioned luxury, and some believe white vs. black (the Celtics teams of the 1980s were predominantly composed of Caucasian players, while those of Los Angeles were mostly African American). Additionally, prior to the 1980s, the NBA had been struggling financially, with low attendance and television ratings. The battles between the two teams contributed mightily to the success of the league.

All this prior to the arrival of Air Jordan. The Celtics had intensity embodied, Larry Bird, gangly Kevin McHale, ambling Robert Parish and playmaker Dennis Johnston and the Lakers had Kareem Abdul Jabbar with the impossibly good hook shot, Magic Johnston, playmaker extraordinaire, Kurt Rambis with the glasses and the elegant James Worthy.

I have not watched or followed basketball much since.

Italian Spiderman - Adelaide Home Grown Hero

Some students at Flinders University here in South Australia have developed a short trailer for a fictitious italian cheezy movie from the 1960s. They developed The Italian Spiderman as a short project in their film course and posted it on YouTube. Two million hits later there is a MySpace Site, funding from the South Australian Film Commission and two more short excerpts (there will be ten) and the promise of a full length movie.



Watch for the fat gut, the indiscriminate violence, fantastico musico and the moustache. Magnifico!

Bungee Classics

Imagine Mick Jagger and the like with this kit.

Photo Hunt: Bad Hair

Bad Hair?

Bad Hair?

And this is Lambert de Vermont who has really bad hair.

Not really really bad hair, more really bad wigs. I am very happy that I don't have to deal with it. One of my colleagues wears a wig. He has three or four depending on his mood or what he is doing it seems.

Really I need to dig out some of the hatchet jobs that my mum did to us when we were in high school. Talk of humiliation. Fortunately, I don't know where they are. That is one legacy of my childhood. I will never cut my kids hair. I am happy to pay the money and have somebody do it professionally.

This young lady had a more sensible mum, who didn't cut her hair at all for 17 years and then she cut it off for a cancer charity. That is a lot of growing. Not sure if that would constitute a bad hair day? I had mine done for cancer charity early in the year, but it was only a centimetre taken off.

And these are just bad.

photohunt

Hillary for President Discount Sale

I wonder when the sale starts?

And this hits the nail on the head.

Perhaps they can store them for next time around.

Colin Campbell: About Me

I have had a busy life.

And Don't Climb the Fence

Important Rules for Tiger Cages

Standby Power Meters

OK I will admit, I am a bit of a gadget head. Not too extreme, but a little. That said, who would have thought I would post on standby power meters. All that electrical juice that is shuttled around the house to keep televisions and the like available to just turn on. My wife likes to turn things off at the plug. I am lazy.

This gadget may motivate me as we work out how much money the power company is making as you sleep.

Thanks Dr Faustus, who has more scoop.

Anthem for Teenagers

Our kids are usually a lot more talkative than this. Not looking forward to Nope, Yup, Maybe... too much. My daughter is already using sms speak in some of her notes from school. It makes me feel icky. Call me a curmudgeon, but there is plenty time for lazy writing later in life.

Thanks FXH

Plight of the Puffin

Our cute friends the Puffin are having some struggles, with numbers of breeding pairs plummeting in one of their breeding grounds on the Isle of May, just down the road and a short ferry ride from where I grew up in Scotland.

Only 70% of nests on the island are now being occupied, while adult birds that have landed on the island have been underweight and malnourished. The finding follows the discovery of numerous dead puffins washing up along the coast over the last two winters.

Professor Mike Harris, the lead researcher with the Oxfordshire-based Centre for Ecology and Hydrology, said the precise causes of the decline were complex and unclear but it seemed very likely that warming seas, changes and shifts in puffin food supplies, and intensive fishing across the North Sea were to blame.

Although the bird – which has a relatively long 30-year lifecycle - congregates in large colonies such as the Isle of May to breed in the spring, it spreads across the sea to winter on the water. It also has a wide and varied diet, from zooplankton and worms, to small fish such as sand eels, and squid.

As a result, its decline suggests a profound problem across the North Sea rather than an isolated or one-off event, said Harris. "We're looking for something acting over a substantial part of the North Sea," he said. "Something big is going on at a wide scale."

New York

This was the winning picture from the Guardians Travel Photo Contest for May, with a New York theme.

Guardian assistant picture editor Helen Healy says: "It's a ghostly photograph of one of the world's most familiar skylines. I like the desolation of the Hoboken shore, scene of On The Waterfront. It reminds us of the enduring allure of Manhattan on the other side of the Hudson from this down-at-heel New Jersey city."

I used to drive up and down the New Jersey Turnpike on trips between New York, Vermont, Boston and Washington DC. The contrast in wealth from this side of the Hudson River was very startling. Not to say that there wasn't poverty in New York and the Cross Bronx Expressway was not the most scenic spot on the route, but the top end of the Turnpike as you headed up to the George Washington Bridge was pretty bleak.

Other photographs here.

Living in the Shadow of Warnie

Even when he announced his retirement, Stewart Chardonnay MacGill, doing it easy with the Cadillac Aussie Cricket team in the West Indies was upstaged by Captain VB for Me Razzmatazz and his beat up Rajasthan Royals in winning the IPL Tonk Contest in India.

It must be tough to be second best over a decade. That said, he still got over 200 test wickets. Not bad for a wine afficionado.

No Wonder the Scottish Rugby Team are Crap

Not much weight in that scrum.

Editors Note. I was just joking. There must be other reasons. My nephew is third from the left on front and was asked to leave the field after the photograph.