Cow Porn

ZADE...No.1 Highly Productive Longevity and Outstanding Udders

Life is too short to work with ugly cows!

ZADE..SEXED semen now available again (was sold out) as well as TRIPLE PLUS strength semen. TRIPLE PLUS means more than three times the sperm cells of competitors semen. Most use 9 million, we pack over 36 million sperm cells, post thaw ,progressively motile. ZADE has thousands of dtrs in over 7 countries..now 946 dtrs milking(on test) in 500 herds, five countries !

Seems like this is like breast enhancement for cows.

Inspired by Mutley the Dog.

Carnival of Australia

The latest Carnival of Australia is up at All for Women. A great range of Aussie Blogging.

Famous North Shore Sydney Home Available

Given that the Rudds plan to live at The Lodge in Canberra, Kirribilli is now surplus to requirements. No reasonable bid refused. Indicative offers on Saturday November 24.

Full details at domain.com.au

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Kirribilli

• Property Type: House
• Bedrooms: 4
• Bathrooms: 4
• Car Spaces: 2

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111 Kirribilli Avenue

Kirribilli House: OPEN FOR INSPECTION sorry OPEN FOR ELECTION

Contact: Private Advertiser

Request more information

Property details

Property Type:

House

Suburb:

Kirribilli

Region:

Sydney Region

Bedrooms:

4

Bathrooms:

4

Carspaces:

2

Energy Efficiency Rating:

Not available

Property ID: 2006832414

Kirribilli House: OPEN FOR INSPECTION sorry OPEN FOR ELECTION

Impressive waterfront views! Poised on the top of a hill and the envy of
many onlookers, this two storey house is a residence of power. Far superior
to any old Lodge in Canberra, this house fits a family of five and provides
the ultimate abode in which to be relaxed and comfortable.
* Breathtaking views of Sydney's beautiful harbour
* Perfect place to view Sydney's fireworks - especially during events like
the APEC long weekend
* Ideal for extra-curricular fundraising activities
* Includes a $200 000 set of executive chairs (not from IKEA!)
* Plans for $500 000+ renovation of the dining room to re-enact the
predicted last supper
* Uses 28 times more water than the average Sydney household –
one of few properties that can be credited for creating its own mini-drought
* Current occupant considering a move even if a new lease is signed
* A million dollar garden ($1 118 000 million over 6 years) with no worms
(well not the kind that gets turned of mid-debate during 60 minutes)
* Recently received a $386 500 security upgrade that unfortunately
doesn’t stop fireball wielding psychos
* Price negotiable just like your Work Choices employment contract… NOT
* Neighbours you know and trust – ‘you can't help but love Maxine’
The Lodge: Live centre stage in Canberra!
You can’t go past this bargain in the nation’s capital. It’s not often an opportunity
like this comes along. While it doesn’t have the sweeping harbour views of
Kirribilli House, you’ll also be at home in this residence of power.
* Owner selling off assets in an effort to go out with a bang
* Tried twice before to evict the current tenant and its looking like
it’s third time lucky
* Long-term occupancy available (depending on your accountant's or
treasurer's plans)
* Needs a good clean and the lawn mowed: tenant barely there
* Recently refurbished reception areas
* Trying to save $7500 of tax payer funds for every flight between
Canberra and Sydney and another $7500 for a VIP jet to return empty
* Dial-up internet access only – ‘broadband is just a fad’ – two hours to
download a YouTube clip is not a big ask, is it?
* Neighbours you know and trust – ‘as if’
Act now, it’s only a matter of time before interest rates go up again… and
again… and maybe even again. Particularly given there is a greater chance
of Australia signing the Kyoto protocol or saying ‘sorry’ than housing ever
being affordable in this lifetime.
Written, spoken and authorised by The People of Australia for the
People of Australia. Please note this advertisement was not funded by 70%
of labour’s union officials and did not cost taxpayers anything. Your money
is only being used to pay for empty private jets, $500 million dollars in
advertising to secure your vote in the last week of the election and the
usual election sweeteners recently announced.

Digital Mischief http://tinyurl.com/yqqv6b

Indonesian Tree Man Meets Potential Medical Arborist

Astonishing story of the Indonesian man putting down roots.

Dede, now 35, baffled medical experts when warty "roots" began growing out of his arms and feet after he cut his knee in a teenage accident.The welts spread across his body unchecked and soon he was left unable to carry out everyday household tasks.

Sacked from his job and deserted by his wife, Dede has been raising his two children - now in their late teens - in poverty, resigned to the fact that local doctors had no cure for his condition.

To make ends meet he even joined a local "freak show", parading in front of a paying audience alongside victims of other peculiar diseases.

Good Luck to Him.

RIP 50 Million Turkeys

Happy Thanksgiving. I found this interesting historical note on Maggies Farm. I always liked the Cranberry Jelly and the Pumpkin Pie, served up at Thanksgiving Dinner.

There were two first Thanksgivings - one in 1619 in Virginia, and the next in 1621 in Plymouth (Massachusetts).

In Virginia the day of thanksgiving celebrated the landing of a group of 38 English settlers at Virginia's first settlement a little way from Jamestown. The group declared it a day of thanksgiving and said thanks should be "yearly and perpetually kept holy as a day of thanksgiving ..."

In Plymouth 1621, the Governor of the day, William Branford, declared that first feast following the fall harvest as a "day of thanksgiving."

Thereafter, the day following the fall harvest was celebrated each year in all 13 colonies, tho the days changed depending on which state you happened to be harvesting in.

In 1863, in an effort to unite the nation during the Civil War, President Lincoln made his Thanksgiving Proclamation, and declared the last Thursday in the month of November be a day of thanksgiving.

Jump ahead to 1939 and President Franklin D. Roosevelt decided that the best way to strengthen the economy was the lengthen the Christmas buying season, and made his own proclamation -Thanksgiving heretofore will be on the third Thursday in November. Well, Congress didn't agree and in 1941 pushed the date to the fourth Thursday in November - until this year.

Turns out our friend is wrong, since this Thursday is the fourth Thursday of the Month. Thanks to Meeyaw in comments.

Australia Set to Pick Saint Kevin as New Prime Minister

More Wordless Wednesday

Not Happy John

Funny Version



Singing Version

Happy Diamond Anniversary Your Majesty

The Queen accompanied by Camilla Parker Bowles and a few hangers on celebrated her Diamond Anniversary with a Knees Up at Westminster Abbey on Sunday. Her Majesty and Prince Philip are now in Malta attending geriatric rave sessions in Malta.

Come On Australia, we can do better than this. Viva La Republica Australia.

Boof Picks Beach Cricket and a Beer over Lame Redbacks

Darren Lehmann, South Australia's finest contemporary cricketer, former State Captain, Test Cricketer, Captain of Yorkshire....... has finally given in to temptation and chosen to participate in the XXXX Beach Cricket in January rather than hanging in their to play the real stuff. Great sportsmen know when to stop and this is obviously the right time.

Talking during his farewell news conference at the Adelaide Oval yesterday, Lehmann reflected on how much the game had changed.

When he started in 1987, state team training was no more strenuous than a jog along the Torrens River bank then back to the oval for a beer.

Now the players sweated and strained for hours before being immersed in ice baths. "When I started it was beers on ice - now it's players on ice," he said.

I could imagine that the rigours of training and ice baths would do anybody in towards the end of their career. Pass a XXXX Darren (or rather something else please).

Update: Having decided to retire, Darren hit centuries in his final matches, both victories against Western Australia. Not bad for an old geezer, sponsored by a crap beer with plans for a career in beach cricket and family life.

John Howards Vision for Australia

Four more days to get rid of this crazy old man.

From Lisa who reminds us that this Saturday, Election Day is Buy Nothing Day. How UnAustralian!

Know Your Geography of the Middle East and Environs?

Try this. Remarkably tricky.

Coalition Revamps Strategy As Clock Hits Five Sleeps to Annihilation

What was that smell?

Celebrating World Toilet Day - November 19th

Today is World Toilet Day celebrated by Toilet Fans every November 19 and organised by the World Toilet Organisation (WTO).

International statistics (WHO and UNICEF 2000; WHO and UNICEF 2004) indicates that over 2.6 billion people in the world today are without any form of "improved sanitation". The real situation is even worse: the statistics include toilets that are so bad, or shared by so many people that it cannot be regarded as "improved sanitation". Over a billion of the 6 billion people in the world are served by sewerage systems but much of this sewerage is discharged into rivers, lakes and the sea with little or no treatment: Only about 30 % of 1.1 billion people connected to the sewer system have their sewage treated in an environmentally acceptable way (Matsui 2002), which effectively means that the excreta from the remaining, which is 5.7 billion people, are discharged directly into the environment – on the land and to the receiving water bodies.

World Toilet Organization is one of the leading organizations in giving the voice to address this global distress.

Serious stuff. Having some personal (Thanks Mum) and professional training (Civil/Environmental Engineering Degree) in this area, it is an area that I have some knowledge. I can remember many trips around Nepal, where there was human poop everywhere, especially near water courses. Not too much toilet paper in those remote communities. Singapore on the other hand had some lovely toilets, which they wore as a badge of courage. We've got better toilets than you Na! Na! Na! Lah!

The WTO has a fascinating website with merchandise, information on the World Toilet College and Toilet Entertainment. What kind of toilet paper are you? There is also a very useful global language summary so that you can find out how to get to the place of relaxing (Arabic).

Here in Australia, we have an internet based toilet map, which you can query prior to that long trip with Granny or the kids.

We take all that stuff for granted. So when you flush today, think of all those people who have never had and probably never will have an environmentally friendly and hygenic poop management system.

Water versus Coke

I saw this interesting comparison between water and coke earlier this week in an email that my wife forwarded. It has been reproduced in full on I Want to Breathe.

I think everyone knows about the benefits of drinking water, but I liked these bits on the benefits or otherwise of Coke.

#1. the active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid.
It will dissolve a nail in about four days and a T Bone Steak in two days.
Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major
contributor to the rising increase of osteoporosis.

#2.To carry Coca-Cola syrup! (the concentrate) the
commercial trucks must use a hazardous Material place
cards reserved for highly corrosive materials. It is used to clean truck engines, the toilet and to dissolve blood on the road after road accidents.

I quite like the stuff, but only drink it rarely. My big boss only drinks Coke. I will have to ask him if he has any teeth left.

Gilchrist Bashes Six More For Test Record

Adam Gilchrist,the Australian Wicket Keeper and the worlds most exciting cricketer (when he gets going) hit his one hundredth test six yesterday against the somewhat hapless Sri Lankans during the second test in Hobart. I am surprised that it is not more or that more batsmen have not hit more prior to this. Apparently the ball he hit to make the record did not make it's way back on to the ground and has disappeared, no doubt to end up on some sports auction somewhere.

Most of the focus before the series was on whether Murali would get his world record for most wickets in Test Cricket. That doesn't seem likely and it seems more likely that it will be the English who have this honour when they meet in the first test in Kandy, Murali's home town next month.

Kiwi Inventor Chills Out Warm Beer

No more lugging chilli bins for this Kiwi clever clogs. You just pop one of these thingys into a warm beer and in less than 10 seconds you have a cold beer. Very important in this part of the world.

He explained the rapid cooling beverage process he mastered as being "extremely simple".

"You have plastic cooling cells which are pressed down into the dock which houses the liquid carbon dioxide. The liquid CO2 expands and is pressurised into dry ice in the base of the cooling cells ... in a moment.

"You then pop it into your drink and then proceed from there as you normally would."

With a surface temperature of minus 78.5C, dry ice has a cooling capacity almost four times that of the same amount of regular ice.

"The cooling power is almost instant and is utilised for several minutes and it doesn't dilute the drink like ice would," said Mr Hodgson.

Now that is useful.

Scottish Diaspora Crushed By Toni and Panucci

Scotland crashed out of Euro 2008 after losing 2-1 to Italy in Glasgow. Not even the prayers of the nation were enough as Italy and France qualify for next years tournament.

I love Big Meaty Bones

Spotty is a great admirer of large animal bones. A bone like this keeps him busy for about a week.

More Photohunters

photohunt

Implosion of a Political Legacy

Ta Ta John and Peter and Tony and Philip and....

Who would have thought a year ago. I am sure you could go through a bunch of commentary from that period saying it was impossible for Howard to lose. I suppose it is good that it is just that, commentary and opinion. On November 24th let's hope it is etched in stone.

Indian Man Marries Dog to Atone

A man in southern India married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony as an attempt to atone for stoning two other dogs to death — an act he believes cursed him — a newspaper reported Tuesday.

P. Selvakumar married the sari-draped former stray named Selvi, chosen by family members and then bathed and clothed for the ceremony Sunday at a Hindu temple in the southern state of Tamil Nadu, the Hindustan Times newspaper said.

Some stories require no comment.

Glorious Jacarandas all over Adelaide

More Wordless Wednesday

Aussie Love Story

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite Anzac bikkies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table here literally hundreds of his favourite Anzac bickies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Aussie wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in rumpled posture. His aged and withered hand trembled towards a biscuit at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked by his wife with a spatula.

'F#ck off' she said, 'they're for the funeral.'

Google as Big Brother

Laurel Papworth exposes Google as Big Brother.

The central witness in a California lawsuit against AT&T says the government is vacuuming up billions of e-mails and phone calls as they pass through an AT&T switching station in San Francisco.
Mark Klein, a retired AT&T technician, helped connect a device in 2003 that he says diverted and copied onto a government supercomputer every call, e-mail, and Internet site access on AT&T lines.

So James was right all along. It is not at all surprising, more surprising that it is coming out at all. Life goes on la la la la.

If the Government gathered all this information by themselves, there would be a revolution few complaints. Why not delegate the task to one of the largest companies in the world? They can make a bundle of money and give it to the Government for free.

I'm off to hide in a remote pacific island and eat seaweed.

John Arlott will be Rolling in his Grave

The ICC are set to trial pink cricket balls in a clever plan to target a female audience ensure the long term viability of one day cricket.

You can add a few more names to the list of not sure about this one, including me. What do you think Geoffrey?

Even I might be able to spin this one. Doosrah Anyone?

Well That is a Relief. Australian Bee Keepers Get Back to Buzziness

Australian Bees have been cleared of the in the involvement in the deaths of their distant US relatives with the finding that the cause of death of Yanqui Bees predated the exporting of Australian Bees to the United States.

The good name of Australia's bees has been restored. A virus linked to the mysterious die-off of bee colonies in the United States did not arrive through Australian exports, according to new research.

Scientists from the US Department of Agriculture who tested samples from US beekeepers found the virus was present since at least 2002 — two years before Australia started exporting bees to the US.

Apparently the $5 million dollar bee export business is still in in jeopardy despite this finding.

The Day the Clarkes had Tea with John and Janette Howard

Yesterday the Clarkes - and especially their 11-year-old son, Daniel - were the stars of an online policy announcement, providing $500,000 to help save the orang-utans of Borneo in Indonesia. "We didn't know he was going to be on YouTube," said Daniel's mother, Penny. "But we were excited when they called on Saturday afternoon to tell us."

What it is really all about. I wonder how many swinging voters are Orang Utan Huggers or is this the first of the desperation political wedges that we can expect as the election heads down to the wire. Next up the Polar Bears or Saving the Tasmanian Tiger, which looks about as likely as a Coalition Victory.

You can see the cute video it in all its glory here.

Dominoes Set to Hit the Big Time

The World Domino Championships are under way in Cuba with a big field of six hispanic countries and plans for bigger and better things.

The president of the International Domino Federation, Eduardo Petreña, told the press that the goal is to have dominoes included in the Olympic program. "We are working hard on making this a fair play, which is one of the premises of the Olympic Games".

I suppose it is harder to hide dominoes up your sleeve.

My grandparents were big domino fans and we had domino competitions in the local village were I went to primary school. Even our kids like it. Perhaps that is their route to a gold medal.

50 of the Dumbest Things Dubya Uttered

50. "I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." -at the President's Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

49. "We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." -Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001

48. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." -Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

47. "I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." --Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001

46. "Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a -- you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities." --Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004 (Watch video clip)

45. "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah." --at a White House menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001 (Listen to audio clip)

Lots more mindbogglingly dumb stuff here.

And this is funny as George dresses down Musharraf for being head of state and head of the military. "Take off the Uniform"

Michael Morphs

Judge for yourself.

The Jackson Five were one of the first 45s that I bought. My first wife brought me Thriller in the 1980s. I saw him live in Singapore in the mid 1990s. He is about a year older than me. What to say.

Lawyer Jokes - Tom Paine Look Away

What do lawyers use for birth control?
* Their personalities.

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
* A tick falls off of you when you die.

Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
* To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.

What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand?
* Not enough sand.

What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
* A Doberman.

Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
* If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
* One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
* They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Lawyer's creed:
* A man is innocent until proven broke.

What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
* Lipstick.

What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?
* Skeet.

What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
* Chelsea Clinton

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him?
* It might be your bicycle.

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?
* The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.

It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?)
* So cold, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates."$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied,"and what was your third question?"

You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
* You shoot the lawyer...twice.

Do you know what happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
* He gets taller.

And guess where these jokes came from?:

This electronic mail message contains CONFIDENTIAL information which is (a) ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGED COMMUNICATION, WORK PRODUCT, PROPRIETARY IN NATURE, OR OTHERWISE PROTECTED BY LAW FROM DISCLOSURE, and (b) intended only for the use of the Addressee(s) named herein. If you are not an Addressee, or the person responsible for delivering this to an Addressee, you are hereby notified that reading, copying or distributing this message is prohibited. If you have received this electronic mail message in error, please reply to the sender and take the steps necessary to delete this message completely from your computer system.

No Ho Ho Ho Yes Ha Ha Ha for Santas in Adelaide

Coming Soon to Adelaide?

With yesterdays Adelaide Christmas Pageant done and dusted we can move on to the Peace and Love blatent commercialism of Christmas with the arrival of Santa. Adelaide Santas have a more complicated politically correct agenda to contend with this year, with the term Ho Ho Ho banned by their politically correct employer, Weststaff.

The term "ho" is also American slang for a prostitute. "We were told it (ho) was a derogatory term for females and can upset people," said the Santa, who did not want to be identified publicly.

"As far as I'm concerned, a hoe is something you dig the ground with.

"I don't think you'll hear too many Santas saying `ha, ha, ha'."University of South Australia communications senior lecturer Dr Jackie Cook said any banning of "ho, ho, ho" was "nonsense".

"Can we use a garden hoe anymore? Do we have to remove that?" she said.

"Ho, ho, ho from Santa is going to be everywhere. It's going to be in books, on Christmas cards and kids are going to come across it sooner or later.

"You could say that `ha, ha, ha' was dangerous because it was always tied to the villains in movies and horror films."

Santa as the Joker?

And in case you were interested, Santa is on an Australian Workplace Agreement (AWA) with the following conditions.

The `ho, ho, ho' edict came as Santa's working conditions were also revealed. The Sunday Mail has obtained a copy of Westaff's "Santa Project" Australian Workplace Agreement.

The 15-page document stipulates, in part, that Santa will:

WORK on a casual basis and earn a base rate of $20.50 an hour.

GET a 10-minute paid toilet break during a four-hour shift and a 30 minute unpaid meal break if working 5.5 hours or longer.

BE AVAILABLE to work at any time on any day for the six weeks leading up to Christmas.

He must also maintain character at all times so as "not to raise any questions or complaints" from customers. His uniform and accessories must always be presentable.

Mr Jansz said the AWA passed the Federal Government's Fairness Test.

This sort of stuff makes me want to puke.

Test Cards - Rivetting Viewing

The original BBC TV Test Card from the 1940s.

My first experience of the test card was an early morning, sleeping over with the Granny with the black and white television. Rivetting viewing. The television world has changed now, with content available 24/7. What used to be the tedious and boring test card is replaced with tedious and boring religious broadcasting, infommercials, old films.....

Now you can get a nostalgic test card clock. Riveting. Tick Tock......

Thousand Year Old Trees succumbing to intense drought

The River Red Gums (Eucalyptus Camuldensis), so typical of the Australian landscape and so prevalent along the River Murray are dying in large numbers as the pattern of flooding that sustains them along the water course stops occurring with the intense drought.

Many of these trees have lived up to one thousand years and are being done in by climate conditions. Very sad.

When I was growing tree seedlings for Trees for Life, I grew two cases of a variation of these trees. Hopefully they are growing somewhere.

The Start of our Fantasy Life of Crime

Now I know why our kids have been acting odd. They love these and have made many different creations over the last few months. Other than the high you can get, they are exasperating to keep track of. Gazillions times worse than lego with little pieces everywhere.

The toy is produced by Melbourne company Moose and won this year's toy of the year award at the Melbourne Toy and Hobby Fair. Bindeez consists of colourful craft beads that are joined together to create designs. They are sprayed with water to fix them.

The company yesterday ordered a nationwide recall of the Chinese-made product, saying a chemical had been substituted without the company's knowledge. The toy contains beads that have been found to contain a chemical that the body metabolises into gamma-hydroxy butyrate (GHB), also known as "grievous bodily harm". It should instead contain a non-toxic glue.

I wonder if we will be nailed for drug running. We just sent Bindeez to the rellies in the UK.

Happy Birthday Hannah and Ryan

Surgeons in India began a marathon operation on Tuesday to save a two-year-old girl born with eight limbs.

Thirty-six doctors covering a range of specialties from pediatrics to plastic surgery are involved in the 40-hour operation at the Sparsh Hospital in Bangalore.

Doctors believe Lakshmi, who was born attached to a headless conjoined twin that stopped developing in the womb, has an 80 per cent chance of surviving the procedure.

Our kids have their birthdays this week. We are busy wrapping presents and icing cakes late at night. Hannah is nine tomorrow. Ryan is seven on Saturday. We are lucky that they are such nice and trouble free kids. Seeing this young girl reminds me how lucky we are. I hope that she can be helped by some clever doctors.

Update: The amazing x ray is here.

Wordless Wednesday: Cactus Flowers

More Wordless Wednesday

Shadow Puppetry What a Wonderful World

This was on Spicks and Specks a couple of weeks ago. Fantastic.

We Need More Hard Working Aussies Like This Guy

Eat Your Heart Out Joe "I'll Resign if we do more naughty IR stuff" Hockey.

Thanks Road to Surfdom

Facebook Takes Over Sex and Porn Market

Facebook has overtaken Porn as internet destination of choice for Generation Y.

Currently, for web users over the age of 25, Adult Entertainment still ranks high in popularity, coming in second, after search engines. Not so for 18- to 24-year-olds, for whom social networks rank first, followed by search engines, then web-based e-mail — with porn sites lagging behind in fourth. If you chart the rate of visits to social-networking sites against those to adult sites over the last two years, there appears to be a strong negative correlation (i.e., visits to social networks go up as visits to adult sites go down). It's a leap to say there's a real correlation there, but if there is one, then I'd bet it has everything to do with Gen Y's changing habits: they're too busy chatting with friends to look at online skin. Imagine.

Pass the virtual condoms.

.....This........ Guy......... Can .........Make ........My........Internet.......Go.......Faster

Australia's creaking broadband network which ranks up their with Afghanistan in network speed has a bright future despite the best efforts of the current government and everyones favourite telco, Telstra's short sighted under investment in broadband infrastructure.

An Australian technowiz has worked out how to make copper networks run porn valuable educational information through the wires faster.

An Australian researcher is on the road to riches after discovering a way to make broadband connections up to 100 times faster.

University of Melbourne research fellow Dr John Papandriopoulos is in the throes of moving to Silicon Valley after developing an algorithm to reduce the electromagnetic interference that slows down ADSL connections.

Most ADSL services around the world are effectively limited to speeds between 1 to 20Mbps, but if Dr Papandriopoulos's technology is successfully commercialised that speed ceiling would be closer to 100Mbps.

Very good news for Australian internet users if this technology can be commercialised.

Deep Thought of the Day

What if the Hokey Cokey was what it was all about.

Thanks T. W. A T Davenelli.

I wonder too. My Grandfather was a fantastic exponent of this. I have vivid memories, aged five of him in full celtic regalia leading the crowd at the Dysart Miners Welfare Christmas Party. There is something very memorable about that. It is also very good when you are drunk or getting there.

Important stuff.

Melbourne Cup Update

Seems that they have found enough healthy horses to run the Melbourne Cup this year. The Camel Racing and Pantomime Horse Back Ups have been canceled. Let the fun begin.

It is a fun time of the year, with everybody stopping for a short time to share time together to watch a horse race.

The political version from Nicholson is here. Funny.

Howard Targets the Yoof Vote

With Kev 07 having tied up the Yoof Vote, DJ John "I'll Try Anything to Get Elected" Howard tries it on for the crowd.

Uluru Gets a Bath

After Two Days of Rain Last Week

Normal View

Ocean Rubbish Dump Bigger than Australia Expands

A massive plastic mass of rubbish is slowly accumulating in the Pacific Ocean. The floating dump, bigger than Australia is controlled by trade winds in the area between San Francisco and Hawaii.

Great diet for marine life in that area and almost impossible to fix according to experts.



Believe it or not, this is crochet. There is a large project to make woollen coral reefs. Pretty sad that we have to replace the natural marine environment with coloured sheep fleece because of our love affair with plastic. Having done quite a bit of scuba diving, it is sad that we are losing some of these very valuable and very beautiful ecosystems.

All those years of liver flagellation

I have been sucked in by this subliminal message for many years. I wonder where it came from.

And then there is this excellent excuse for a beer.

Their research has shown that a glass of beer is far better at rehydrating the body after exercise than water.

Unfortunately I would have to exercise first to justify a pint. Perhaps I will just stick to habit and preference as a justification.

Along the same lines, drug addiction, a sixteen year old Australian has been given permission to have smoke breaks at school after a doctor diagnosed her as being nicotine addicted, which was exacerbated by the stress of studying. Seems moderately nuts, but kids of that age will find a way to smoke if they want to, based on my own personal experience.

Thanks Chicken Crap

Foreign Doctors Pass on Australia

I wonder why?

Thanks Kevin "Maxwell Smart" Andrews. Good work. Just when both parties are making outlandish promises to staff up new medical facilities, when they cannot even staff existing facilities, the botched prosecution of Dr Mohamed Haneef is coming back to bite them. From what I read, these doctors are critical to the operation of medical facilities throughout Australia.

I can just imagine that the potential that you could be locked up and vilified for having a dodgy relative would be enough to consider other employment locations.

Why is Australia, a rich country not educating more Doctors?

Update: According to Mr Andrews it is those bloody communists who run the State Labor Governments wot done it.

Photohunt: Classic Car

I almost passed on this one. Too difficult. I was in Semaphore this afternoon to drop off my daughter at the cinema for a Birthday Party and saw this car. An International AS-110, assembled in 1957 in Melbourne after being imported from America. Bought and owned by the grandparent of the current owner. Less than 100,000 miles, original engine and iron oxide paint. Two years older than me and in better shape. Classic!

More Saturday Photohunt Sites

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Elephants on Acid

Fresh from writing on the benefits of removing Elephants from freezing living conditions, we learn that Elephants are highly allergic to LSD and will likely die if injected.

When Warren Thomas, the director of Lincoln Park Zoo in Oklahoma City, approached Tusko the elephant with a syringe full of LSD in 1962, he thought that he was about to make a major contribution to science.

Within a few moments of being injected, Tusko began trumpeting furiously, before keeling over as if he had been shot. An hour later, he was dead. “It appears that the elephant is highly sensitive to the effects of LSD,” Thomas and his colleagues concluded.

Well Duh!!!

I wonder what an appropriate dose by elephant body mass would be? Probably enough to pay off your mortgage.

That and many other odd scientific journeys are described in the top ten wacky science experiments of all time.

As the author states

“Sometimes such single-mindedness leads to brilliant discoveries. At other times it can end up closer to madness. Unfortunately, there’s no way of knowing in advance where the journey will lead.”

You have to wonder sometimes about the rational thinking of some scientists. At least they didn't give it a line of cocaine and get it to snort. Now that would have been expensive.

Dr Karl Takes Wind Out of the Clean Coal Sales Pitch

This sort of stuff is very refreshing given the blah blah of the Cult of Meetooism that has apparently converted our glorious potential leaders here in Australia.

Dr Karl, that wacky scientist from television has an uncontroversial view on the biggest oxymoron of contemporary environmental politics, clean coal.

Celebrity physicist Karl Kruszelnicki has described clean coal as a "complete furphy" and likened it to Nazi propaganda.

"Goebbels, the Nazi propagandist, said if you're going to tell a lie, tell a big one, and this is a beauty," Dr Kruszelnicki said today.

The scientist is running for the Senate on the Climate Change Coalition ticket.

"It is a furphy, a pork pie to cover up the fact that there is no such thing as clean coal," he said at Customs House in the Sydney CBD.

Dr Kruszelnicki used a scale model of Sydney and a $10 tent to demonstrate what he said was the "myth of carbon capture".

Sydney alone would produce a cubic kilometre of compressed carbon dioxide every day as a result of the process, far more than could possibly be stored under ground, he said.

"You can't build a box big enough to store that every day, there is nowhere big enough under ground to put it and the ocean is not an option,"

"One cubic kilometre of CO2 to get rid of every day"

Wouldn't it be good if more politicians talked like this. I might even vote for them.

Update: Mea Culpa. We woz wrong. Apparently his assertion was based upon an incorrect source and that clean coal does indeed have merit in being evaluated.

Water Restrictions Can Kill

With Australia under severe drought and many areas having strict water restrictions, this story is very sad, especially because the old guy who had a heart attack and died was not violating water restrictions.

A man has been charged with murder in Sydney's south after punching and kicking an elderly man - sparking a "massive" heart attack - during an argument over water restrictions, police say.

A 66-year-old man was watering his front lawn, in Formosa Street, Sylvania, when another man, 36, who was walking past the house, challenged him about water restrictions.

The two argued and police said at one point the 66-year-old turned the hose on the other man, wetting him.

The 36-year-old attacked the older man, punching him, pushing him to the ground and then kicking him.

The older man then suffered a massive heart attack, an ambulance spokesman said.

"He was hit in the head [and then] he went into massive cardiac arrest," the spokesman said.

That is a high price to pay for a water fight. And the old guy was entitled to do what he was doing.

Not Even This Funny Ad Will Get Me To Drink VB

An Orchestra of VB (Very Bad) Beer Playing Musicians. Very Clever.

I just wonder how many people would change from drinking a good beer to a bad beer based upon a cute or clever advert. When I was in Singapore, VB was extensively promoted and I often drank it, not realising how bad it was. Not as bad as Fosters, which was extensively promoted in the UK as an All Aussie Beer during the 1980s. I was even more surprised that people accepted Budweiser in the UK and that it was on tap in bars with otherwise very good beers.

Oh the power of those marketing guys.