Friday, November 23, 2007

Scotland Dies Laughing

Most would have been dead within minutes TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire country laughed itself to death.

The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered.

Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead people gathered around still blaring television sets.

By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture. Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They seemed to be at peace."

He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees. "It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over."

Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm. "He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet."

Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.

From The Daily Mash


Laura said...

Haha well that's what they get for laughing at their national anthem...How rude!

James Higham said...

Now is that kind, Colin?

Sean Jeating said...

When dead the Scotts are all,
who will sculpt
the statue for McGonegall?

lady macleod said...

OMG LOL Oh dear I'm Scots! Quick tell me something sad!

Colin Campbell said...


The management cannot be held responsible for the the contributions of Mr McMarsbar. His views, while endorsed by the management are his alone.

Unknown said...

More than happy for you to use stuff from the Daily Mash (www.thedailymash.co.uk), but please do give us a credit or link. Ta.

Colin Campbell said...

No problem. I have added your link. I had no idea where it came from. I will have to give Jocko a lesson in blogging etiquette.

Jocko McMarsbar said...

Sorry about that The it came to me via an email.

Unknown said...

Splendid. Thank you very much.
The Daily Mash.